November 22, 2014

In search of..

Something which can complete my inner sense. Something which gives me satisfaction. Something is incomplete. The sense of real joy is not there. I am missing the ingredient which can make me forget atmosphere around me, the time would fly but not for me.

The Sunday morning. A blur awakening. The will to make a cup of tea after two slices of bread straight into my stomach to avoid acidity. There are times I want to change some of my habits. Working out, drinking lemon water like dad always wants me to do. These things never happen regularly. Well, may be that secret ingredient is my own self. I am missing being in actual control.

I crave for the comfort food can give, some hours of  sleep can give. I dont want to move my lazy self any where, even when I know the most needed part is my life is healthy diet - no skipping meals and 30 minutes workout. Only 30 minutes.

I want to bake that long awaited bread, sweet bread.The cinnamon smell in my kitchen.

I refuse to do it. I am out of control.

No book is making me feel glued to it. I want to fall in love with a book. No song is making my soul happy. I want to be in love with rhythms. I really miss the high I used to get after jogging. I miss those  sprays of  endorphin.

I know I am in search of Some Thing.

Not sure what. Really.

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