November 25, 2012

For the friend!

Dear Friend,

I know you were feeling low (although your ego and I might call it proudly your awesome attitude of emerging strong in front of people) when I had a talk with you today in the morning.

Did I tell you, you are my inspiration? For the confidence you re-boost in me when I go deep down  in confusions about my abilities? Dude you speak so so so well ! (And you ask me, 'how can I go for consultancy?') Here is the key, your persona convinces any one- Even when you are not from the domain of the topic! You accept what you don't know, you dig out information about the very same domain and next time when it comes up, you flaunt it with your style. (Did I tell you, your walk is so stylish that I secretly made fun of the 'style'*)

You say, you are not clear about your future? Who all are? Here I am getting a master's degree and thinking of being a house wife in future just because I hate exams! Okay that was a joke but seriously, what you have to do is, again with the same spirit, in confidence take those steps you had planned. Imagine there is a stair case, may be a spiral one, with darkness all around. You have a torch with less power and thus a very few units of lux ( I am a design person okay? I need to give specifications!) which can illuminate a single step at a time. What will you do? You will be careful but yet you will be able to climb that complex spiral stair case by taking one step at a time and achieve new heights every time. Right? Do it.

You say expectations are high. Remember your favorite fiction, The Meluha and The secret of Nagas? Shiva, was worshiped as a God long before he proved himself. Your situation is just like Shiva, the tribe leader who has no clue why people were worshiping him. What did he do? He unfolded his future with one step at a time, using all his intelligence and skills. No he had no idea he would be such a great strategy maker. He did not know he would be such an awesome dancer that he would win Parvati's heart. He did not know he would remain humble even after being everyone's 'God'! He did it. You can do it too.

You say, you are not sure if your preparations are good. It is not how well you achieve your target, it is how hard you hit the target. When you are confident, people are bound to believe you.

I can say that with proud, because I believe in you.

Hit the target and show off your style dude!! You rock!

Your 'Golgappa' friend,
Bubblegum! (Yeah the Bubbly one as you say!)

*-Not Gangam style!

Life for me!

When I was a kid, teachers used to teach me that one should always help themselves, no one will come for the help. There is no other alternative. Gradually I forgot the fact and started relying on my surroundings, friends and family. In my whole life I had always a bunch of people, may be with some replacements every two three years here and there, but they were always there.

Now when I am twenty four, when I have my family and best of best buddies with me, I feel my teachers were always right.

If one doesn't help herself or himself there is no chance others can do. Today, I would like to add something. No one other than yourself knows you better than yourself, no one other than you can understand your fears, your emotions and anything you want to express. Not even your buddies and mostly not even your parents. Sometimes you just toggle in between two fronts and no one closer to you would even identify forget reading those hidden sentiments in you. No, I love all of them to the core, but the truth can not be destroyed or manipulated.

One should not be dependent on any one, ANY ONE.

The only thing matters is how you set your priority after knowing yourself, after knowing your feeling.

I chose my family and closest pals, even after knowing myself and my sentiments.

That is life and I love it, I  would love it even with a pinch of pain.

 I am happy about it. 

November 22, 2012

Tum nahi samjoge!

Now I need to tell you people this. I know I am suppose to stop blogging for some time at least  So what? I am feeling like blogging 'this'! Impromptu!

So I have a Chinese friend in my class. We have taken same subjects in this semester and so obviously we interact everyday and have become good friends. The extremely helpful guy, We will call him 'Y'! No, neither he acts 'Paresh Raval of Judai' with a 'why' question on his forehead nor he works on 'why why analysis' all the time. ( Sorry bad joke!) Digress.

So Y sent me a text message yesterday, "Read XYZ question from 123 Chapter on the page 420".
(Okay, it was not 420, but I am giving an example.) Weird right?
I asked, "Why?"
He said " Read it Just because I feel so"!
I asked if he was feeling something more. *Grins*
He did!!!
After half and hour he had some more 'Feelings'!

I suddenly dived into my imaginary world created by my silly stupid mind,

Y: "Dont 'You' feel anything?
Bubblegum: "No!"
Bubblegum: " Kuch bhi nahi hota 'Y', tum nahi samjoge!"

*Running away from brick bats raining!*

PS: I certainly cant share this joke stupidity with Y, I think I will make him watch 'Kuch Kuch hota hai'!
PS 2: Not a single question from the bunch of 'feelings' was asked! :D

November 17, 2012

A break much needed.

A break from blogging is something I really hate to announce, but the day has come.

I have lost the ability to put things on my blog without fears, I have lost my touch to connect to myself on this platform. There are thousand fears and thoughts moving in my mind and creating a mess, none of them I am able to describe. The inability to show those hidden files, makes me crash in front of the blogger's new post section.

I am not sure how and when I am going to come back. There are possibilities I may come back in a few days or I might never come back over here- what I really want is to come out of the mind set. I am of course happy but a person like me who likes to live like an open book has lost the count of some hidden pages. The guilt is pouring in the pain.

No, I am not depressed. Thank you very much.

I might come back very soon or never, this blog is something which is and will be close to me, forever.

Ah, all my blogger friends, keep writing, I am there to read and comment!

November 16, 2012

The real talk!

Generally I talk a lot with myself. I talk while walking down to the bus stand, I talk while walking down to the class room or the library, I talk to myself when I am shopping alone; Most of the time these talks are stressed out rants to myself or I manage to quote some bitter sweet truths about life in my virtual mind lab!

I decided to do something new today. I decided to ask myself what I want! I know I am bloating due to unhealthy life style, I know I should study harder, I know my focus span has come down to a few minutes and I also know I am trying to decipher the future with a lot of stress on myself. Some where I know I lack guts to do a lot many things. So what? I decided to ask myself, 'What do you want to do as of now?'

No I did not get any crazy and pointless answers like, 'Dude please go to a bungee jumping sessions in Malaysia' or 'Please just lie down on the bed for the rest of the day and do nothing.' I did not get any depressing answers , like 'What have you done to your self? You were suppose to reduce a lot of weight?' or 'Just leave eating, you fat lady'! Answers came as shocks and surprises to me.

I wanted to do Yoga, I wanted to jog or at least walk a lot; which I had to avoid for some reasons since many days. I wanted to dance and learn some new complicated steps. I wanted to pamper myself with hot water bath or even better , an  awesome foot massage session (which is not possible right now!), I wanted to study and meet some very focused people in the university I know. Particularly two girls I study with, they are so clear in their thinking, and they are poised with guts! Please note they are a few months younger to me, that is fine, right? Though many things are not similar, I manage to catch good vibes from them. Apart from that, I wanted to hydrate myself a lot;which I avoided due to my sheer inability to identify needs of my body.

All these random answers I got, made me talk to myself a lot more. I agreed to the fact that, only I can help myself in distressing myself from some tensions and other tensions are not worthy of my stressed state of mind. It was a real talk to myself!

I felt contented. I am trying to do what I want. I walk , I dance and I feel happy even after studying! (No relation with grades though!)

Do you manage to have a real talk with yourself?

November 13, 2012

Happy Diwali Finally!

So this was what I finally did, after days of studies, anxiety, headaches and homesickness.

Some senior buddies invited me and we had so much of 'Traditional' enjoyment on the 'D' day!Actually festivals are there to pull you out of sadness! New people and the old Indian bonds! Colors-Rangoli and Diyas!

A very very happy Diwali to you , and wish us! - We have our new year today! - Saal Mubarak!

November 10, 2012

The Goodie bag

I got this Goodie bag at my door step in the morning.

I opened the bag and I was choked. I guess the most beautiful gift from my loved ones were lying there in front of my eyes. My tears refused to stay back in my eyes.

I could see myself, in a new house with people I love. I could see me and my best friend sitting in theater and running back home in a taxi back home. I could see myself taking rest of in the relaxing couch my new home has, with mom in the kitchen screaming at me to finish the food or else she might go to my doctor fuas to complain.I could see myself doing Rangoli for five hours and papa asking me to take rest every hour! I could see my brother- staring me doing things, just like he does every year. 

I could see a pack of my favorite Mithai , I could see some of those books I always wanted to read, I could see a set of trinkets lying in the corner of the pack. I could see a very traditional and colorful silk Dupatta, I just loved it. 

I was out of festive homesickness. I was fine, full of tears.

Just then I heard some conversations dropping in my ears, I could not understand, I was uncomfortable. Something really soothing but warm touched my forehead as if giving me some consolation.

Sun rays! I got up! It was a nice, warm and emotional dream.

The festive homesickness came back striking hard. I was still in tears.

It was just a dream. I can not feel loved ones  here any more.

November 9, 2012

I hate 'V'!

Hold on! Please control your heart beats , all my friends who have their names staring from 'V'.I love you all! May I start?

I was talking about this!

My professor loves the model. He keeps on searching it in every project, every presentation and ah, every one's mind. I wanted to store the whole 'V' concept to my heart but not this 'V', Sorry I can not. I hate you to the core.

I hate you for making me pull my hair all the day while making presentation. I hate you for giving the guy-who-stinks the reason to ask me hundred question and to avoid collateral damage of yours truly, I had to divert him to my other team mates. The scary you look, I thought I will get rid of you quickly but, NO. You will stay with me in every project I may take up.

Dear V, Kindly give place to other friends and things in my life, After exams you may go! Shoooo!

I really hate 'V'!

November 7, 2012

For the love of Mumbai!

Yes, I am talking about love life! My love life! My love and My life! :D

A batch mate cum friend of mine, messaged me yesterday! We were together in the induction program of my first (Second hasnt surfaced yet) company and after a month we were given different location, so of course our contact was limited to either through office communicator or mine or  her short visits. Who cares? Whenever we meet or talk, we have fun! And ..She is in Mumbai since some days and she was with our other batch mates when she messaged.

She said she was missing me! Of course guys over there are quite busy with projects and she cant expect shopping sessions with them. She asked me where all she can go for shopping! She is one of the most stylish girls I have seen in my company, I had a 'goose bump' moment listening to her shopping list!

Oh my Mumbai! I typed each and every name of the place I love in the city and I guess for full fifteen minutes I was high! Those fifteen minutes and I visited link road, fashion street to my favorite Colaba causeway in my mind heart!Of course I cant forget those Panipuri wale bhaiyas in Mumbai with Vada pav and some of my favorite ice cream shops! I was virtually roaming around in the city of art, freedom, money, smiles and smell! 

No really , Mumbai is just like those addictive drugs! You should smell the city once in a while if you cant live there! 

I was not sure how to react when my mom said, "Beta, you should go to Mumbai at least for a week, plan your trip accordingly!! 

Yeyeye! :)

The post is dedicated to all my friends out there and each set of trinkets in my treasure bought from Mumbai! :D

November 4, 2012

A question and an answer!

Well , the Yellow Question and The Blue Answer! (Just like those colours!)


PS: Sometimes My roomie acts wise! :D

November 1, 2012

A Thursday bliss!

I heard a soothing rhythm of 'Jaltarang'! Instead of feeling relaxed, something inside me started getting disturbed. Is Papa playing Sitar and I am not able to identify the instrument? No It cant happen. He must be playing on his laptop. No but he never does that, he uses his ipod. Oh no, he is in India , I am in Singapore. What is happening?

Oh it is raining outside!!Just like it used to rain in Mumbai and while taking lunch in the canteen or walking from home to office; I am falling in love with the rain again! I got up from my bed and walked to the balcony.

This was it. The Rain drops falling on the railings and creating soul triggering sounds! Suddenly..

Oh my God, I had slept off? I had slept off while studying? I slept off for 3 hours non-stop? After getting a tight goodnight sleep of seven hours?

Is this just those tiny tablets for cold? Or The new place is homely enough to make me sleep in peace?An insomniac like me can sleep so much, how?

My hands working subconsciously  to make 'Kadak Adarakhwali Chai' and with the mug in my hands, listening to the 'jaltarang' of nature in true sense, I smiled and opened the Blog spot!

The churning in my mind turning into a Thursday bliss! Home away from home!