December 31, 2013

The year it was!-2013!

The year 2013 has a bad image of the number '13' and just like me, my fate does not believe in it. The dynamic year - A mechanical engineer can safely label. Dynamic is all about motion, changes in motion. It made me struggle as if I am facing a life threat, but it also gave me my 'Life'!

Friendship - Singapore!
Almost five months of this year went in earning myself a master's degree in this world of Singapore! The world which I miss just because it has my friends. A group of people who managed me and I managed (a little, agree!)  them during the tenure. Friends forever- the famous term makes sense now. Tea chit chats to dinner and post dinner chats, walking out side at midnight or going places where I would dream of being together with a group of friends, a mental shoulder to cry on or a lecture by them when I do silly things to my emotional state of mind. Everything, I owe everything to the friendship.

Where my parents came and felt proud about what I achieved. Where I stood giggling in the line to get the degree near the stage and the unusual pronunciation of my name did not let people understand when I reached and got converted into a post graduate professional.

I can highlight this moment as the biggest event of my life, when I was fed 'gud-dhana' by the mother of Mr.ISB and my mother did the same to him. Of course the absence of any other elderly person than our parents made sure that the event gets over in two minutes. Also note, we forgot to get both of us clicked together for the biggest event of our lives!

New job!
My decision to come back to India, was not liked by many and I had my own reasons. After a long struggle I managed to get a job while I had almost became a zombie in my mind. Kudos to my parents, my brother, my would be parents and Mr.ISB of course, to stop me from becoming an ape. The new job came with new friends, new experiences, new city and a fresh busy me.

2013 flew, sometimes it just stopped for months. The year it was. Totally Dynamic.

December 29, 2013

Uncertainties and life!

They are synonyms , at least for me. Apart from the guy I am going to marry and the goal to reduce weight in next five months, I guess are the only certain things I have in my life. The later needs hard work as well to take shape.

Right from shifting houses fore more than four times in a year ( I ignore past four years for my better state of mind today!), confusions and loyalties coming in between, weekend trips in pipe line, the really long shopping list my both mothers have made which makes me as a bride compulsory to participate, managing cash flow for rent, deposit, daily expenditure, shifting houses and shopping for wedding - These all are contributors of the Maha-confused state of mind of mine.

I am the person who likes to make a plan for daily chores I have to do. I need to have a plan. That is it. If things go twenty from nineteen , I can manage but if things don't take place in my virtual world for planning there is a disturbance in my mind. I loose track of things for a while and with that I loose sleep too.

Learning to say No to people, specially if they are your own people or you have given a word and situation change, it becomes really tough for me to explain or even state the 'NO' I want to say. I get anxiety attacks for small things like even how to say No to that shopkeeper who has shown me a good dress. Attacks may vary in altitudes and frequency with the root cause but it definitely makes me sleep less than I should. Whatever it may be.

In the new year resolution , if this one thing I really need to learn is to say No. Say No in the way people get convinced. It is an art and many people don't have it.

How do you say NO? Is it tough for you? Or I am the only sample piece like this. 

December 26, 2013

It was his birthday!

PS: After a lot of hard work, emotional-mental and physical I am trying to write this post, Awesome memories are the secret of my energy. Okay?

So, It was my Mr.ISB's birthday and I had declared a company conference in Chennai a long before. As close as two months? With each passing day I tried to show some guilt for not being there on his birthday. The plan was rolled out with the help of other two three his (and now mine!) friends at ISB. If I will describe how many friends of him, without meeting me, blessed us with great love care and friendship, I might need a separate post. So, as we all had planned I flew to Hyderabad on the pre-evening of the day.

Spending two hours before 12 at night, I met all his friends who had come to meet me where I had put up. As per plans, we all went to his hostel which is suppose to be one of the Student's Village where one of his friends handed over a card to him which said I am there to meet him, while I was far away behind a car waiting for his friend's green signal.

As I saw one of his friends waving his hand with a huge smile, I came out and saw his eyes searching for me and trying to manage his college mates around twenty in numbers who all wanted to wish him. He was giving thousand watt smile! I think the smile said it all, brain said he knew I would come!! *I am not sure how to react to this , even now!*

The night and the other two days spent in a birthday treat, ISB campus walks, tons of talks which were pending from my side and tons of care he could not show on call, chatting and leg pulling sessions with friends. His group mates with whom he had to submit assignments and presentations managed for the day and let him spend time with me- which I feel was the most beautiful gift to him and me as well. I got attached to the place and his friends just in two days.

I bet, if I would have thought even ten minutes than what I could, I would have postponed my return journey for two more days. With great memory, happiness and tons of tears I had to say bye to him.

Honestly I had thought of writing a really really really long post but I just realized I can not translate these expressions into words. Just cant.

So, Mr. ISB if you are reading this, let me tell you following things.

1. You are a messy person with great love for me. I ignore the first part.
2. You are over practical , that is what I used to think. I now think you are just practical and not over- practical.
3. You are the best life partner I can have as you handle all aspects of my personality with success. I give 10/10!
4.Above three points hold no worth in front of what I feel for you. Love, care, respect and friendship!

That is it for the post. I think I have traveled too deep inside the well of emotions.

December 16, 2013

Random Introspection of a rebellious, feminist soul!

Then I was this girl who was rebellious like that spark which can ignite the jungle fire. I believed in gender equality to the core. No, I did not believe in quota reservations for women or even anything close to it.

I believed Saree is graceful but not too comfortable as an every day attire (every time) than Salwar Kameez. I thought a pair of jeans can do the justice to even a month long trip with all fashion you can think of flaunting. I believed even guys should learn light cooking, they should help their mothers, sisters and wives if females of the house are working. In fact even if they are not, there is no harm in helping them sometimes.

I believed any big decision in the family should be taken in mutual agreement with members of  the family irrespective of their gender. I was also firm about rights of members of the family regarding clothing, expenditure and other personal things-which should be the same for both genders.

Rules should be made, but for both members with limits. It should not suppress the growth or happiness of one specific gender.

Now I am a different person, I have got lots of faith in all above ideas of my mind-heart.I feel how fortunate I was that, I argued with every single person who opposed me, who got offended by my free thinking and labelled me as a feminist. In fact I also believe I am a feminist in the true sense. A lady with the cotton or Khadi kurta/ saree , struggling or fighting with a few persons in the court for some rights is not a feminist. She can be but it doesn't define what feminism is. The true feminism is believing in gender equality.

A day before I had put a question in front of some random people,  if any one can tell me what all fun, unique and creative things a would be bride can plan apart from pre-wedding girls night out ideas.Some guys advised me to learn cooking, one of them asked  me to take tips from elders on 'How to make my in laws happy'! None of the girls said that. None. Honestly I wanted to punch these guys on the face.

My thinking is too different and some day I feel I am going to be too harsh on my would be's ideology if at all it evolves in another direction  than me. I should also mention, his thoughts are almost of my frequency and he believes in Gender equality too seriously. ( I need to write a separate post on this!) So the clash rate can be less than expected by me!

The biggest improvement I need in my thinking is - In fact stopping thinking about 'what people will say if I will follow my theory'! I see no progress in that direction for a few years at least!

At the end I feel proud of my self, that I  managed to strive through all conservative theories and never gave up on my thinking.I feel even more proud of my self for selecting a life partner who never enforces a single decision on me. Touchwood. *Thank you God*

 (I am pretty sure most of the readers will think I am the one who never adjusts.)

December 6, 2013

7th December - The special day!

Disclaimer: Please ignore grammatical very big grammatical mistakes. I am not that great in story telling as well.

Today, is a special day. It is the 27th wedding anniversary of my parents. They are attending some one else's marriage today. Okay, that is the different story that I never liked them enjoying the whole day even with us. I always wanted them to enjoy alone, it never happened once I was born. I think so.

Since a few months, I am listening quiet a few stories about their marriage from different resources. I just love these stories, more than my soon-to-happen wedding story. Seriously. Either my resources are great story tellers or I just love listening about my parents.

As one of my cousin Masis who called my mom to congratulate on my engagement, she asked the first thing to my mom, "What was Bubblegum doing when Mr. ISB and his parents met you people for the first time?", before the sentence completes, both started laughing to my amusement. Later on I was told that, when my dad and his cousin- cousin's husband came to see my mother, she was not too happy about seeing a guy. As she had no questions to ask in that mood, she just sat in the corner couch after being introduced and started reading a book with her thick framed spectacles. Yes, my mom dad never talked!

Once my dad and his relatives left, my Bua asked my dad if he liked my mom. He said, "well what can I say" and the confused statement was taken as "Yes"! On the other side, my mom's cousins and siblings were busy teasing her for the stupid action of hers and her anger. My mom particularly the most rebellious kid of the family wanted to study further and my Nanaji was not too happy about it. It was his plan to just let her see my dad. He had also asked my mom to not to wear her spectacles which can affect her beauty and that is what exactly she did. She never removed her spectacles! When the call stating my father's "Yes" came, the ball was in my mother's court. She actually with anger and no mood said "Yes". She says, she never regretted for the answer afterwards!

In fact my cousins ( kids of my Bua who accompanied my dad while meeting my mom for the first time) says, my mom looked so so so beautiful that they thought, average looking mama of them forced my mother to say Yes! In fact the son of my bua who was around fourteen at that time says, my mom was my first crush! Really. He says he used to love to be around my mom more than his strict Mama!

Some of my paternal relatives says, my mother being the most beautiful daughter in law of the family also had to face comments of people about her probable snobby nature which never came in between their relations. I feel so proud of my mom when all my buas praise her from their hearts.

About my father, well he is the second father to my youngest Masi. I lost my Nanaji before my birth when my youngest masi was in 4th Standard. Even today, my father says Bubblegum is my second daughter. Not only that, my youngest masi was my Dadima's favourite. I had confusions in my mind when I was young, if she is my masi, my bua or my elder sister! My father managed my mother's all siblings and my Nani all his life with affection and care just like his own family. Today when I see him at the peak of his career, with gray hairs or say almost no hair- I feel proud.

Wishing them on this special day is just a formal way of celebrating their anniversary. I want to benchmark the way they lived with dignity, love, affection and responsibilities. Hope I reach the mark some day.

Stories about my parents, their wedding have been special to me always. Stories about my relatives, by relatives have been special to me. If I am not wrong, that is why I was 'loved at first conversation' by Mr.ISB where I talked only about my family.

December 5, 2013

Titbits this December!

I had decided a day back to blog today. It was planned unlike catering to my sudden rush to express over here. Life is moving faster than I had thought of. Life is in a metamorphosis stage, I am enjoying it with a pinch of anxiety, nervousness and panice hours some times.

As I always say, I am blessed with good people around me, I must say I am super lucky in Pune. I am slowly getting attached. I am always planning something or the other thing with some one or the other. The sentence can actually show my enthusiasm. The other reason of the joyful time of my life is I am mostly at peace with myself. And with Mr.ISB, both sets of parents. Credits to them.

New happening changes slowly gripping my heart and life both. I am cooking almost on daily basis. Alone. I am not a great cook but I manage to make dishes 'tasty'. I must say mothers are the most hard working and selfless person now. Till the age of 25 I never realised what is it to devote an entire life to the family and loving them the most in the world.

I have my own doubts about getting into the 'married now' mode. Months are left for me to get into it, but I am already feeling low when I think how am I going to manage job, hourse hold, relations and that too not affecting my own love for life. Of course, once I will dive, I am going to learn swimming, but these blues are not a surprise for soon-to-be-brides. Isnt it?

About my work, it has been more than a month I joined this company. I am in love with the people and the work as of now. I enjoy their company and the way they work. I like the way I am treated by my team mates turned into friends and my manager turned into my mentor. The profile demands time, dedication and hundred other skills, but then the life is all about learning and hard work.

About me. Well, I am finding ways to pamper myself after the day. Be it working out, dancing, reading or just relaxing. It can also include in a nice foot rub by myself. Simple joys of life?