July 27, 2016

Decoding Self

While I was strolling on one of the online catalogs,I came across this.I almost fell down from the chair, as I felt it was written for me. About me.

I have always been in doubts about my personality type since the day I have been thinking about it. I am talkative, I am outspoken but I am selective. I do act like a complete extrovert but then most of the times it is a mask I wear. I share secretly,many traits of introvert personality type as well.This article was a happy discovery in this day and age for me- 18 struggles of an outspoken personality who is also an introvert!

1. Not anti-social, selectively social.
Perfect. Lately I have been extremely picky about people. I have stopped entertaining relationships if they are draining energy out of me. I have achieved the detoxification with some pinches of junk food here and there but yes, 'Selectively Social' is the word for me now. My old friends gets a sense of shock when I say I have hardly have any friends in Mumbai. Because, I was famous for having minimum three (precisely) friends in all the cities I had to visit officially. I was ALWAYS surrounded by friends,now- I struggle. I have stopped building relationships consciously, rather invest in harnessing existing ones. May be. May be not harnessing part as well. In short, I'm not open any more to make new friends consciously.

2. Not a group person but a 'Best friends' person
I was never a part of any group of friends in my school or college days. I always had best friends from multiple groups.  Independent of any groups. Though I must confess I have two 'Groups' and I do love being into both.(If three or four can make a group!)

3. Not a 'Prom or a Disc' person
Absolutely.I dislike parties where people dance and drink in dim lights. I dislike where I have to be conscious of things around me, rather people around me. Not that I do not like dancing, in fact I absolutely love it but not in the atmosphere discs and parties provide. I like home parties- some pizza slices or delicious pasta. Some dance on Bollywood music if required. Gupshup over chai. My idea of a party :-)

4.Yet the life of the Party
I do become one when I am in the'my kind' of a party. Where I am with 'my' people and a comfortable surrounding.

5. A break to recover the 'Social' life selected by yours truly
Yes, I need lonely moments every now and then. I get super suffocated and clearly make a mess out of nothing. It is getting more and more important with age to get those moments of solitude.

6. Going out of the way to avoid people
Classic example is not wishing any one on Face Book (even after getting notifications daily) unless they are close to me- in that case I call or message those lucky fellows.I try to hide beneath an invisible (from my eyes) blanket to avoid talking to people in real life. These people of course do not include 'My People'. (Every now and then I escape from a few from this segment as well for some days.)

7. Dating is awkward
Because, I do not/did not consider the shy,sly, typically romantic, weird dinner sessions as dates. My idea of a date has evolved from considering it as a hype to a friendly comfortable time spent with special someone . A long walk, few cups of filter coffee, random chit chat and if possible no one to interfere.Replace 'The walk' with 'Books', we are happily dating too!

8. Flirty with everybody- Accusation 
I used to get such accusations in College days but they were completely baseless as I would be just laughing on situational jokes while being friendly with anyone from my class of 89 boys out of 90 people, some used to take it as 'Positive signs given by the girl'. (Only in finale year because, for three years yours truly was called 'That tomboyish girl') Now a days I hardly suffer from such accusations as I have become too picky about people to talk to and I am married so people do not really build such perceptions about me.

9.An air of mysteriousness
Because I'm too complex to understand even when I'm transparent enough about my personal life. I do not feel like posting about life every day, I do not answer forwards on group chats. In fact I have become like my husband who quietly checks messages on Whats App but seldom reacts!

10.Too much of Social media or nothing at all
I had have my Twitter days when I would be tweeting about everything about me. Such days,well never went beyond the count of ten. I have also deleted my social media accounts many time just to avoid social presence.

11. Social Jacket for others but still not comfortable
I was a social face for my brother before, now I am quite a lot for my husband. Well, inside some where I myself need a jacket- the one which would permanently hide me from people.

12. 'In between' Personality Type
I took almost twenty eight years of my life to realize that I'm neither an extrovert type nor an introvert type of a person. I am a little bit of both.

13. In the Wringer 
You get pushed into it. This has happened in all my jobs where people feel I'm a pro at presenting ideas, carrying out meetings and even influencing workers. It is only me who knows who gets nervous but never shows a thing after being pushed into the wringer.

14. Want to be in the lime light but not too much
Because as much I love performing on a stage even after getting nervous- I hate to see my self on the screen. The reason I have never watched my Sangeet and Wedding video yet!

15. In the Conundrum
Because I (secretly) dislike to take life changing decisions. Or not so life changing decisions as well. I never order while dining out, because I hate to select a few food dishes from a menu containing 25 dishes. I actually have spent six months, just to select a mobile for myself. At the same time, some decisions in life have been taken with super sonic speed. Like marrying Mr.ISB! :D

16. Cafeterias - Second love
You have civilization around you. Yet, you are alone.Oh, you have a mug of coffee to enjoy life. What else do you need. I die for such moments and cafes.

17. Travel
I like travelling a lot. I love meeting new people, going places and exploring local food. I love being with ONLY my own people as co-travelers though. I do get pissed off with any unwanted person accompanying me for more than an hour's journey. I am not really extrovert for that person after that! It does not mean I do not life to talk to strangers,once in a while I do develop friendship with completely strange travelers while aboard.

18. Actually Shy
Yes, I am a bit shy person and I never accepted it before. Even when my childhood days are recorded as days of the most introvert and shy kid. I some how had a mask over it when I entered junior college to sustain in this world. That was my idea. Not any more. I accept myself as I am- A Bit Shy.

July 20, 2016

What's going on?

Believe me, every single day the 'Compose' section on this blog is kept open. I scribble things here and then but nothing worth posting. So many things are happening around within me but unfortunately I fail to put them into words. I'm not sure if this post would ever get live on the blog, but then it might. I would take that chance.

Monsoon has been light and exactly the kind I love. I do miss the strong tea with ginger first thing in the morning as I just do not get the chance to make tea only for me and my Dad-In-Law as other two tea drinkers do not enjoy the stronger spicier taste as much. Also, it does not make sense to make tea separately for us. Nonetheless, I drink the ready tea made by my Mother-In-Law which itself is a bliss. The open window, my Kindle and the mug of tea - All of them have become my morning companions. Do not think that I miss on my type of the tea. In office, I do this sinful act of having the tea (Made by our cafe chef, exactly as per my demand) twice.

Lately, I have been on emotional roller coasters. Though, I'm happy that I have left those sensitive feelings behind and moved on thanks to the phone call of that friend who knew what is going on inside me, much before I explained. I have also been utterly disturbed about the religious discussion in and around my circle, which broke my heart many times but at the same time made me stronger to be what I want to be - religiously , spiritually.

Office is going hectic. We are loaded with work and the mismanagement of time irks me out. Things are flowing and I have been trying to catch on with every one else in the boat. It has become difficult to ask for a holiday after getting two long periods of leaves but the kind of efforts we have been putting in, has made the need of smaller breaks compulsory to retain our sanity. Some day.

I have been hooked on to the Kindle thanks to my phone who is now dead. I'm back to basics - which means carrying my Nokia 'Brick' phone which I use only to dial and receive calls. It has also made me realized that I have heck of time to do what I want to do- hence reading. I'm happy with the life but of course my work is getting affected due to lack of contacts and other data. I am not saying that I am not happy without a smart phone! :D

How have you been?

What's going on?


July 13, 2016


Today in the morning while gulping my super strong tea with ginger in the office cafeteria, I felt like a witch! 

Before you roll your eyeballs , Let me explain.Muggles who are not aware of The World Of Witches and Wizards must know that Apparition is the method of transportation - disappearing from one place to another without using any physical devices such as Flood powder, Brooms or even Portkeys. So I guess I was went through apparition. Unknowingly, I got transported to Singapore! For a few seconds though. (Because,I am not a witch you know!)

It was pleasant. I had walked down to the office from the Railway station in the drizzling rain. I was craving for that my type of tea with a bit of sneezing bothering me. I order one.

Suddenly for a few seconds (or more?) I smelt 'Kaya Toast' and the fabulous 'Kapi' even when I was holding my favorite tea! I tasted a bit of Kaya taste as well. I was transported to Singapore and Cafe 'Toast Box' was serving that delicious 'Kaya' breakfast. I swear, I smelt the Singapore Rains as well.

I never thought,  I would ever miss Singapore in this way. Kaya (Coconut jam made in a traditional Malay way) was always my favourite there, but never got a chance to get one in India.

Singapore, coming to you some day. Specially For Kaya toast!

July 11, 2016

Lite up

Steam coming out of Corn Bhel had a familiar feeling. I had felt them in my eyes a few minutes ago. With the steam, frustration flew away.

Some moments come to lighten your soul. Some people come to warm up your heart. Some places have the charm to make you shift gears of life and land you in a place where you have nothing but that heart on your sleeves.

I experienced all of them last weekend.

That big stone from my heart melted away. It was like cleansing.

I'm ready to rock and roll!


July 1, 2016

Monsoon Musings

I was contemplating finishing the Copenhagen post today but something in me just gave it a miss! It might look like an excuse to not to hunt for that awesome picture editor to fit in  the vacuum created by Picasa's absence. Anyway, does it really matter when I am feeling like writing?

Mumbai has been welcoming monsoon with open arms and as much as I love rains , I do not really want to jinx it.Today's morning down pour for me, as an Amdavadi, was like a dreamy scene-even when going to the office was more of a mess and chaos than the comfort of getting drenched but who cares! ( Being an Amdavadi,spending my whole childhood in either waiting for rains till eternity or suffering the flood - in two extreme conditions, regular showers are extremely valuable. )

My such office mornings start with a cutting cup of tea specially made by yours truly's recipe by our cafeteria guy. It is more satisfying as now a days I drink super mild tea made by my MIL and not the kadak one made by FIL - Now when I get ready made tea first thing in the morning, it takes a heart break to say No or waste it everyday by refusing to drink. I do think of saying NO but never do it, she tries from the bottom of her heart to combine tastes of every one in the single tea pan so I resort to the office tea. Drinking tea after getting semi-wet in the rains, cutting across a big human wave at the station,sitting under the roof in our open air cafe is more than a bliss! No complaints for the ginger kick straight from the tea-mug as well.

After office hours, while going home there were a few days when I got lucky and walked in the rains but hey, having hot food in the drawing room with rains pouring in like nobody's business outside is also something gorgeous.

Monsoon messes up when you enter with wet shoes, germs , drenched umbrellas and the smell attached to everything deprived of fresh air and sun light. Having a self diagnosed  OCD of some sort, this really cracks me up but I manage to come back to the sane state after a while. (Or after cleaning/ reorganizing the disturbing stuff of course!) But, monsoon also manages to bring smiles to the dried up souls. Monsoon brings Music , Movies, coffee meets, memories back alive in our lives.

More like,

"Chhoti si kahanise , Barisho ke pani se;
Sari Yadein bhar gai.. Na jaane kyon dil bhar gaya..."

How is your Monsoon going on?

PS: The post is really not creatively constructed but oh it just rained, I am going down stairs to work. Ah, in the same open air cafe we have.