Zone or Zen

If you would have met me when I was little over four years , I would look like an introvert and shy kid. If at 13, little shy but not too introvert. At 21, super extrovert and bold, aiming high in life. At 25, I would seem that I have friends in every corner of the city I have ever been deputed to (thanks to the job) and at 28- I had kon-maried many friends. Sheesh!

No, serious! It was the year of wedding when I failed to cope up with too many friendships. I started being selective about friends and if you are reading this and still has managed to be my Hi Hello friend - oh yes, buddy - you are the lucky one. (Now when I am 30, well- I have started konmaried relatives too!) And, believe me I was so relaxed after the selection of relationships I had attempted to make.

My husband said I was never a Naturale at being that extrovert, when it comes to my social life, I was always picky about people I really gel well with. It was that ingrained Indian mentality which stopped me from not being social, even if I don't like to be one at certain point of time.

This year, I am slowly noticing a serious change in me (Good for me, bad for social relations!) - I do not like to be taken for granted any more. I am investing more in relationships which are important to me or the ones which spark joy in me. I have suddenly become the person who is in no mood to wear a mask- If they are relatives and I do not like them, well they will get a smile but I can not be pushed to act like that good daughter/daughter in law who would talk to them for hours even when she doesn't feel like doing it.

Then there is this every day life. In the office and at home, I am becoming less involved in social interactions to call me a perfect extrovert. I know with whom I can spend hours just chatting and with whom, I would like to go formal/ do basic duties of being in a certain role. I do not think there was any single event which triggered it but I am just following my heart more often. (Not that I escape from confusions and guilt for not obeying rules laid by the judgmental society)

I have also noticed myself loving my own company a lot more than ever. I don't need people around me all the time. I grab smallest possible opportunity to spend with myself or having a silent date with Mr.ISB (Oh yes there is a thing! Both of you enjoy solitude - yet you are in the same room, feeling connected)

There is this amazing peace within me, most of the times when I can do what I want do in terms of my social life and interactions. No forceful social conversations, no wearing mask. Enjoying company and conversations with people I love...

...Including myself.

My own Zone or Zen.

Registering Mishap

When I say, we are very different individuals in this relationship called Marriage- it is not really an exaggeration.

I am a fireball, He is the fire extinguisher;
I am an emotional fool, He is too logical to be that;
I am reactive, He responds to situations;
I plan and achieve, He is an impromptu performer ;
I like to keep things organized, He loves constructing mess out of nothing.

And hence, while we both have managed to travel to the middle line of the actual gap sometimes organically- we have several guidelines (unsaid) to achieve peace in life. (Needless to say, we follow them only sometimes)

One such unsaid rule for him is to adhere to the statement of requirements, given regarding de-cluttering our bed room in the morning. The rules are as simple as, 'Putting his clothes to be washed in the washing machine', 'Switching off the geyser','Placing his folded dried clothes from the hall to his wardrobe'. No Rocket Science! However, like a true geek who can detect a minor change in numbers and patterns from a huge data base- he barely can register these tasks undone. So, I have a habit of instructing him every now and then- with a wish that it would become a habit. (The first rule of putting clothes in the washing machine is now a habit after 4.5 years of training!)

So today in the morning, while mentoring him...

Bubblegum: Hey, please bring the entire pile of folded clothes from the hall when you pick your towel (from the a pile!).. Need to place that entire bunch in your wardrobe.

Now, with a wish that he would detect that the folded towel he is taking is a part of a pile of his own freshly washed and dried clothes- I always segregate folded clothes in piles and every pile either belongs to an individual or belongs to house keeping.

Now, after exactly one minute- just like an obedient husband trying to keep sanity of his wife in place I hear him entering the room from the hall.

And what did I see?

He was carrying around four piles of clothes (belonging to every one) one over other and was about to rush to his wardrobe to place them inside (?)

I could not believe my eyes!

He had failed to register that all of these clothes do not belong to him and need not go inside his wardrobe.

Sheesh!

:|

Tiny Tales - Love from Ahmedabad

Ah, I should have put a declaimer on title that these tales drafted during the stay, might be irrelevant to readers but I need to document them!

***

My brother has grown up.
I asked him to move my heavy trolley bag for the umpteenth time.
He did not ask me to maintain my status quo as 'A girl who can do anything just like a guy.'
He kept mum and shifted the bag again.

***

Masi and the cousin brought all of their heavy clothes home. So that we can wear anything we like from the treasure, in oh so many functions and parties planned at the family wedding.
Masa, Dad and Mama kept on yawning at the speed with which we were deciding what to wear and when?
They are pros at yawning while we do this. Thanks to all my Masis, they have been trained well.

***

My husband survived that bland Khichadi at home, because we were tired of the wedding food after 7 days.
Also because, he is too shy to declare his hatred for bland food or Khichadi in front of my mom.
Ah, also I did not tell my mom about his feelings regarding Khichadi- just to make fun of him.
I'm sorry Mr.ISB! Hehuahuahauhaua.

***

Not in my life, I had tasted such tasty Sabji of Guava.
We all sat together to decipher the recipe.
Conclusion: A little bit of ginger and chili paste in the Sabji can work wonders!

***

He served me the Sabji. I took it and read the name- Kaju Karela!!
Oh my God, what did I take.
I decided that at the age of 30, it is time to develop the guts to try it, now that it has been already served.
Expressions after eating the first morsel: DELICIOUS! What the heck I have missed in my life!

***

My Dad and Mr. ISB were spending the 20th minute on Amazon to search that terribly named German brand of Nut and Garlic Slicer.
I was in love with the way it slices nuts to mix in the hot milk, a cup full of which I gobbled every night during my stay. (Prepared by the chief chef at home- My Dad!)
We got the slicer yesterday at Mumbai, ordered by Mr.ISB!
Mugambo Khush Hua!

***

I got to witness my 'reserved in nature' two years old niece throwing tantrums on a drop of a hat.
All Aunties discussing with my mom, how she is like the kiddo-me for the hundredth time.
Well.....Well.........

***
 My nephew (Collectively named as Taimur of our family) entering the first ever pre-wedding function he was going to attend- surrounding oh-so-many people.

Just when we thought that for a 7 years old, it might be a trigger to go cranky...

He started smiling looking so many focusing him. Almost virtually giving flying kisses to every one!

Never heard him crying even once during those 5 days. Lucky Parents!

***

An aunty pointing towards me, introduced her daughter- "Meet the Bride."
I cracked up , "Nooooooo"
Aunty suddenly realized the mistake, "Sorry Sorry!"
The Bride and yours truly smiling. We don't think that we look that similar any more, but we had experienced this before many times!
It is the relation which can make you look like each other. Blood line- not so much!

***

My eldest V Fai who is now 86, wanted to click a picture with the bride and the groom in the Mandap, which was on a stage. She has been using a walker to support her lately and so while she was moving fast towards the stage, my dad and another uncle just started to rush to help her climb that one step to reach the stage.

Before they reach, my confident Fai lifted the walker on her own and climbed up in a micro second. After another second of breath in our mouth....every one witnessing the event started laughing! This is my V Fai for you guys - forever managing her own way out of issues.