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January 9, 2020

To Abby #1

Dear Abby,

You are going to be seven months old in two days. You are my little but big boy and believe me, every one around loves you more than anyone around in this whole world!! (And, you have a mother who writes her mind out without proofing it. Bare with her!)

I thought of writing this letter to you- One, because it has been my first work week after your birth. I am leaving you home with Dadi and Tai.Two, because I just love writing mails to my near and dear ones and welcome to the club of the people I love writing to. You are in a gang of only six people so far!)

Today is the fourth day of my five days work week, in my very new and challenging job. You have been nothing but a blessing for this new and now working Mumma because you are happy without Momma at home. You do not cry or you are still not clingy. Every one say, once you will be nine or ten months old you might be too upset when I would be going to office but I have a hunch that you will support the challenging role your mom wants to crack!

Oh, it does not mean I do not miss you. On the first day, when I came back home- you sort of ignored me. My heart broke then and there but in two three minutes when you started playing with me in your usual way, I could not stop smiling. On the second day, a few Building Aunties blamed me indirectly for being selfish. However, it was your Dad who reminded me why I am working. He also told me that when you would grow up, you would appriciate me for managing my career well and would also understand that every person (irrespective of his/her gender) should have a freedom of choice- Specially in terms of, To work or Not to work, after marriage or having kids.

I might sound harsh but I am an individual. I did not lose my individual personality even after getting married to your Dad (Thanks to him!) and hence, when your very wise 'A' Pishimoni adviced the tired Mumma of yours in her passive voice, a few months back:" Abby is a part of you, rest of your personality still needs to have passion and joy! You will be happy if you preserve that part and so would be Abby!" I could not and can not agree more. Do you know the most wonderful part? Your Dad belives in it more than any one of us. And to prove? I am spending total three quality hours with you every day before going to office and after coming back and they are nothing but JOY.

Another reason for me to join work - is AMBITION. I have a few for myself, your Dad has some as well and you would have some for yourself. Everyone should have a goal or goals in life to reach to and Believe me, some day you would know why I did not give up on this one.

Abby, I am sure you would give me strength to crack this new role which matters to me a lot. However, be sure that you are the most important part of your Mom and Dad.

Love,
Mumma


Ah__Fish!

Oh yes, I am talking about Office today. Yours truly has resumed work and from all the aunties in our building this Mommy has wore the robe of selfishness and every day goes to work leaving her 'poor' almost seven months old baby home. (Oh no, he does not register my absence at all! 'They' ignore the fact when I leave for office!)

I would stop my rants here and talk about things I think when I am going to office, when I am in office and while I am on my way back.

-Abby is going to be alright. He does not even miss me. Stop thinking about it.

-I don't have anything to wear!

-Why is it so uncomfortable to keep hair open! Let me tie a bun. Oh No, I cant. This is an office.

-Oh my God, the world outside is so slim and trim. God knows how to squeeze in time for working out.

- This feels so good. I finished all the pending tasks.

-Where was I for eight months? Absent from life?

-What would Abby be doing? He does not even miss me! Why?

-I need coffee.

-I want to work out or walk. But I want to meet Abby as soon as I can.

-I need to change my hair style. This pony tail looks out of age for me.

-When should I book a cab to go home?

-Why the hell this Mumbai traffic appears ever where?

-Day care downstairs for ******* Bank is so cute. So many babies!

-Oh look at that baby! Must be younger than Abby too! Why cant I have my baby here?

-No, I cant. What if I have to stay back for some time?

-When is the boss going to talk to me?

-Oh my God, I need to cook dinner as per the plan.

-Oh No, then I will give hardly 1.5 hours with Abby.

-Why is that aunty telling me that Abby will forget me now?

-Oh well, another one coming to ask my office timings. Why don't they go and ask this to Daddy.

-What? Abby is wearing such a mismatched pair of clothes. I had kept everything prepared in the basket, what happened to them?

Believe me, there is a trail left to write about. I still need to plan and sort out some issues. I have to fight with social dilemma of performing in career and my personal life as a mother.

Some day. I will get over them. I can not fight with the society.

January 1, 2020

Resolution 2020!

Oh well, if I look back to the post where I declared my five goals for 2019, I did not do too bad. Not Good in all the areas of course but provided I lived the entire year being pregnant or a new mother- I do get some concession. Don't I ?

The first Goal was to keep activity level high. Oh well, till June I walked A LOT. Of course, it maintained my weight like anything but I could not see an impact on my delivery because hey, I had a C Sec. Over all, I did not do too well in this area afterwards. However, I am slowly picking up. I try to go for a walk, thanks to our Nanny (Please dont go any where ever!) who takes care of Abby in the afternoon. Now that I am joining my new job in next five days, lets see how do I maintain my physical fitness.

Second and third Goals of Working together with Mr.ISB and Decluttering - is a work in progress. We are yet to conquer both goals with additional stuff we have thanks to Abby, however I am sure we would survive.

Fourth and Fifth Goal of Recycling and Personal Projects went out of the window. Believe me, I had plans. I could paint two canvases and a bit of recycling boxes for storage happened. Not Happy with these goals.

Year 2020 is going to be different to take these goals again. It is the year of settling down with a new role and a baby on board. Getting into routine, making self care rituals etc. But wait, let me write them down.

1. Reading: I kid you not. I want to read books, learn more or just explore different virtual worlds. There is this sudden craving for knowing thoughts of other people, characters and build my own theories, in me now. With a six months old baby it is not very easy to take time out but hey, I am going to slay this goal. I am sure. If I want to survive intellectually.

2. Fitness: I need to decide if I want to dance, walk or do both. Or nothing. However it is time to level up the game of diet and work out. I need to lose postpartum weight and I can see it is not easy. All eyes on my new diet this year. I am trying to minimize carbs but remember, I am from Gujarat.

3. Hosting Parties: Tea parties or Dinner, all eyes on my soon to be set up Living Room. I did a small trial on Christmas by decorating it with a Christmas tree and whatever I could get without going out much. I loved creating a party ambiance. I would love to throw a rug, a few fairy lights and some indoor plants. This year I want to host minimum three parties to start with. With elegance and joy.

Wish Me Luck?