Expectations

Management of expectations is a road to peace of mind.  Expectations bog us down, even if they are from ourselves but wait when others expect you to be a superwoman and you know you can not be one, Booom! That is when things go haywire, for me.

I left my job in Feb 2021 and decided to learn about newer opportunities from my side. I won't lie if I say that I wanted to spend time with my toddler, who was a victim of my super hectic schedule in the past 3 months. However, I also wanted to take a break to figure out new things in the professional world! 

And Glad I resigned. At mom's, I forced myself to take some rest. I communicated well that I needed a break from the grill. Hence, I was at ease and everyone happily indulged in babysitting Abby. I painted, I read- I read and I read. I watched shows which were on my Playlist for 8-9 months. I worked out. I ate good food (and cooked but the mothership was the menu designer!)

However, coming back to Mumbai where we have to deal with numbers of people and their judgements every day is a combination of a good and a bad thing. Besides coming back to the normal routine, being with Mr ISB (Even when his Work from Homelife does not have a 'Home' in it), seeing Abby enjoying with paternal grandparents- I am Not-Too-Good. 

My identity is now of a Free Bird and hence the expectations are to be at the service of everyone around me.

- 100% Attention to the toddler when at home

- Taking him to gardens around by begging people around to drive us there. I am not comfortable taking a cab in Covid and that too with a jumpy toddler. The pressure of taking him out because he might be bored is insane. And I am a bad mom if I decide to have some time to myself over it.

- I am expected to be social with neighbours with whom I share NOTHING. I am not at all rude, but keeping distance is not a sin. Right? Especially during this second wave of COVID when none of your neighbours wants to wear masks.

- While our cousins constantly push me to continue working for my career upliftment, there are many dear ones who ask me to take a step back for two years to focus on raising a baby. It was shocking for me because these dear ones never said such a thing before. A Baby changes everything, right?

Now comes the part where in I try to really find a solution.

1. Actively upgrade myself and discover what I want to do

2. Do not feel guilty for letting dear ones managing Abby all alone. If they need help, they would ask. Do not take indirect conversations seriously even when you know they are serious.

3. 2-3 Hours for myself. Right now in the day time, I can get barely 15 minutes for myself. This needs to change because once Abby is asleep by 9 pm IST, yours truly only wants to soak in books.

4. Find a Nanny/ A school once the second wave gets weaker.

Expectations are sometimes overwhelming and unmanageable but who gets to survive without handling them?