Bullets through my blog!

I know many of my favourite bloggers hate the idea of bulleting short stories-rants. I am not going to be the people pleasure any more, so I have decided to use those bullets (Good, I dont have a gun!) for the wordly-vomit I need to have. How gross I can be!! *Thunking my head on a virtual wall*

• My schedules have gone haywire. My two bosses (Ex and current) are exactly two poles. North and South. The Ex one does not want to leave me and the portfolio , the new one has already declared my ownership over it. He will pitch in when it is necessary. Good for me. But hey, if there is a formal process called 'Transition of roles', then I am the victim of it. The new boss does not believe in it and the old boss wants to have everything formal. Even a coffee break during the meet. Hello uncertainty and ping pong decision game!
• I need to bake some breads or even a cake. Period.
• The urge to create some thing new in my professional life has made me read trillions of articles and some good numbers of books online. With days passing by, I am slowly uncovering my wishes in terms of my work. 
• The horrible and terrible ( they are understatements!) news of a friend (who used to be a very very good friend of mine, now out of touch!) who lost his wife a week ago in a road accident made me numb. Numb that I wanted to cry and I could not. I want to live every second of my life. No regrets. 
• I have discovered my love for Mornings. I am a morning person thanks to my house maid and super hectic schedules. I sleep super sound and yeah, I get up (After one snooze, already considered while putting on the alarm!) early. If nothing works, my house maid does the get-up-its-morning task. No, I have not started working out as a daily habit. Some day.
• I have the weirdest husband. He takes sadistic pleasure in scaring me out by appearing from no where at 1am when I sometimes get up to drink water and he is still on his beloved laptop or watching Tv! I get tiny heart attacks almost bi-weekly. What exactly do you express when you are in your deep sleep and you feel somebody is dunking you in a mountain of sand which is actually a dreamy feeling of a real scene. The scene when your husband is sprinkling powder on your calm, composed sleepy face. 
• I want to maintain a diary for grocery in Mummy style. Weekly plans, vegetable shopping and grocery with hand written notes and stains! I have been procrastinating to implement this. Not Good.
• I have discovered a new habit. Not sure if it is good or bad, but a step towards striking a work life balance if it exists. I do not open my work- laptop after office hours. Office hours do not mean 9-5 time frame here.
• After ages on avoiding facial clean up (Hold you breathes people, I am going girlie!) I made a visit to the expensive saloon near by. I am feeling good and bad. Good for the refreshing feel, bad for the hole in the pocket. 
• I have discovered new interest in brands like 'Kitchen Aid' for my kitchen. I own a knife now, made by the marvelous brand ( I am an engineer and I notice craftsmanship and material first!) gifted by Mr.ISB's our Kaki. Kaki, if you are reading, thanks for the gift I managed to get for myself from Mummy! :-)
• I got re-connected with my two Singapore friends on Whatsapp after much expected light abuses from one of them. If you are reading this, Ms.Roomie, I am waiting for the next best phone. Blame it on my iphone! 
• I have been banging on my next Mumbai Visit. Filter coffee, Dosa, Irani Cafe, Bandra and HOME. Hope it comes soon.

The weekend,Cooking and Bubblegum!

It was a super relaxing weekend. Mr.ISB managed to spend with me by taking a detour from his business trip. It was like that splash of cold water, which makes you relaxed-refreshed but it stays for a moment. Two days were joyful but stayed there only for 2 days. You know what I mean!!

Movies, books, dinner outside with constant cooking incidents and accidents!

Laccha Paratha , Pudina Chutney , Garlic toast and Spaghetti Aglio e Olio - I crafted them all in my kitchen thanks to some brilliant chefs (almost, for me!) in the blog world and both of us relished all of these dishes followed by a super tasty dinner pending since long at a nearby favorite restaurant.  Creating magic in the kitchen is more relaxing then staring at the mail box in the office to let things move! Ah..By the way, not mentioning a loaf of bread which failed to rise came in between my otherwise good (read: awesome) mood.

A little bit of shopping, a dinner date and a movie or two were enough for me to forget the failure and start afresh. Another reason which made me stand up and bake again, was my frustration. Baking always leads to a much needed distraction, followed by some time in introspection.

The introspection which used to push me in a black hole aka depression before, now makes a calm play. Day by day, I am getting convinced where my real interest lies, accepting reality, gathering courage to do what I want. Slowly but steadily. Just like my first bread which I baked. Yes, finally I baked my first tasty loaf of bread!

I am in love with the beautiful rise thanks to the wet yeast procured from a near by bakery, whose owner failed to  know why I need to know Everything about the wet yeast and bake my own bread! His recipe was simple. "Thoda atta, thoda salt, thoda yeat, milao thikse, fulane do and bake karo." followed by "Aap banayegi?"

When I followed her blog post step by step (Though I replaced dry yeast with wet fresh yeast) and finally after hours , while cutting the bread loaf, I was almost drooling due to aroma! Enough self praising! ;-)

The satisfaction of crafting something for the 'Paapi pet'! ;-)

I have  also realized coming days are going to be even more frustrating in office. Worst is yet to come. Professional world might turn upside down or even worst, crush me,mince me. I am ready to seize the situation. Once and for all. With my cooking adventures on. Every single freaked out day will be a bake out day!

I promise.

A mindful monkey!

It is amazing how my mind works. The messy mind needs lists, calendars and plans fixed. Impromptu plans upset me for a while. If it is travelling or recreation, it is fun. Otherwise, such incidents upset that little corner of my mind in a horrible fashion.

I have two types of problems. One, I am so very much clear about what I have to do, when and how I need to do. It creates the feeling of being too busy.For example, I make a rough plan in my mind before leaving from my office about rest of the day(?). No rest, please note. The draft would be very much in detail. Like, Going to the basement parking, getting on the vehicle, stopping at a near by 'Sabji wali', stopping for that grocery shopping, parking the vehicle in the colony, Getting into the lift, Start cooking- chai making ,calling both mothers and so on. I do it sub-consciously.

My second problem occurs when I do not know what I have to do. Like, my next job? My next vacation? When should I plan for a visit to my home now? Bla bla. It makes my mind boggle. All the time.

I want to do everything and that too together. Without missing a bit. I know this. The habit of multitasking some times makes you feel blah, far from being satisfied. Rightly said, "You are not Multitasking, you are just task switching!" May be I need to change my mindset to this.

I 'have to' make a to-do-list and I am a sucker for applications which can help me out. My problem is I make lists randomly any where, because I am yet to make the 'system' in which I can use a single diary/application for personal and professional tasks. Sometimes going digital seems the best way out and some times I am back to good old diary lists!! Both never gets in sync!

With my baking - cooking adventures on (Did I tell you, I have started putting Jaggery in oats in the morning, in place of Refinded Sugar?), eating healthy stuff is on priority. Along with other domestic stuff I have to do in the absence of my maid. So,whatever time I get after Maha frustrating office hours, I chase the super long to-do-list.

I keep on revising editing it in my mind or an application or on paper.So my mind jumps around tasks all the time. No doubt focusing on work, which is frustrating, gets more frustrating with time. My mind never decreases the speed of processing. The list never gets sync with my mind, paper list or an applist.

I keep on hovering around ideas to make my to-do-list perfect and then check all the points in the list.

May be a different sort of monkey minded personality I am!
Or
A mindful Monkey?

The Big-Fat Festive wave!

It took me (and Mr.ISB) to the storm. The Diwali and our New Year. Of course, combination of two talkative and hyper personalities of same age when meets, such things happen. I am talking about Mr.ISB's sister and not Mr.ISB!!The addition was Diwali. Let me explain!

First my parents came to Pune and then we went to Mumbai. Home. The trip of course covered a lot of social gatherings which were pending after the wedding, we clubbed all of them with Diwali and New year gatherings. The over explosion of such happenings  made me more chirpy (Yeah, I surpassed my past records!) and of course happy happy. No story can justify my feelings , so I am back to basic bulletins on my blog! :D

• Going to Mr.ISB's eldest uncle's place.This was a bit of surprise as  I never could participate in most of the topics with them before. Generally filled with religious talks,this time the meeting happily included travelling ideas and talking with our nephew. The 10 year old kid actually came with us for the night stay. Above all, talking about books with the Uncle made me  us happier as I was happily given his two favorite thrillers from the collection. The little cute kid of the uncle who is now my husband might be thrilled that I stole am stealing the show. :D

• My nephew. This kid talks like a kiddo Bubblegum. Fighter planes and wars. Spies and Defense. Cars in addition. I gifted him one of my favorite magazine  in English. Happy Happy!

• Rangoli. No Diwali can be the 'Happy Diwali' without Rangoli. There are stories related to my rangolis every year back Amdavad wala home. Credits to my grand mother who was brilliant at it and we could make Rangolis every year.Some times, every day a new rangoli! I am into this ragoli making from the day I could hold a pencil and knew about colors. Ganpati Rangoli is compulsory in my rule books of Diwali since years!

• Do not even ask me about food. Yours truly baked a cake, a not-so-so-good bread, some experimental and 'over sweet by mistake' muffins. The main chef at home, my mother (In law) made super tasty 'Ghughra' and the brilliantly assembled Sizzler! The foodies relished chocolates my dad brought from France and some random sweets every now and then. I know I have to start with my workout from today!

Okayish Bread made with clubsoda!

Banana whole wheat muffins!

See how well the engineer has managed to get the shape ;-)

• Telephones. Mobiles. Talking to my favorite Kaki and Kaka from USA (I better give them blog names now!), my relatives from Ahmedabad and some other formal talks. Honestly , I enjoyed each of them. Some more some less.Unlike Mr.ISB who gladly talked (For a few minutes before running out of topics!) only to Kaka-Kaki from USA, for others he crafted some really good facial expressions to avoid , which were enjoyed by me and my sister (in out law)! :D

• I also realized how parents can affect babies. I got to hear from a very young and stylish corporate mom that her 4 years old kiddo called her 'Babes' once. Learning from the random comments by his father. I laughed my lungs out!

• After working really hard in the kitchen (Not cooking but the tedious side activities when your maid is not there) Bubblegum and the sister out law got pushed to take rest in a separate room by every other person of the family saying evening with guests coming in, would be more tiring. We had 2 hours to sleep and revive, which we spent in talking talking and talking. Got revived too, seeing faces of other members of the family when Mr.ISB opened the door of the room silently to cross check if we are sleeping!

• Meeting old friends. Irritating some more. Long walks with the Bro buddy-1 and Mr.ISB like old times. Honestly, we need to meet more! Such a good feeling to re-play memories.

• Back to back movies and discussion, some airy plans of travelling and career. The idea of managing two girls (Bubblegum and the sister out law) for more than a week made our mom threaten us saying she might take up the job if we decide to take a sabbatical together, under one roof!! :D 

• Mumbai home also means, pleasant morning walks, cups of filter coffee in the famous cafes at Matunga. No Starbucks can beat them!

• The departure for me was super frustrating as here in Pune, from today, I am again alone. All alone. With Mr.ISB on business trip and my office work starting again. Blogging such memories makes me giggle in such lonely moments.

Such was the festive big fat wave for me. How about you?

Frustration, Food, Books!

These three words sums up my life since some days. I would also like to put up a disclaimer that this is a 'Blah' kind of a post!

Last one week has been a roller coaster ride which took a depressive path and it is yet to collide with anything which can stop it. The only positive part of the tenure was the election day in the state and with no right to vote here, I quietly enjoyed the peaceful holiday with Mr.ISB. I am dreading today again, as the ride is going to continue.

Lately my office and my work has been draining my last 1% of peace and energy for nothing. It is no more challenging my urge to take up thing any further. I just feel like escaping from each and every molecule the office is made of. Right from my colleagues , friends and my work. Everything.

Every morning I have to pull myself away from the bed bribing me a cup of my type of tea. I drag myself to pick that laptop which would be lying on my bed as last night I would be working on it,  like a ghost with burning eyes and in between reading my current ongoing book-love. Trade offs are never easy.

The house maid has decided to never (not even a single day) to come on time and thus making me late for the office, every day. I am not sure if I am slowly striding towards inhumanity but I really feel like asking her not to come the next day, as the deal is over. I am yet to implement and it will take forever. No, I can not do that to any one. Freaking expenses these days, they need work too.

In such days, only cooking and reading apart from understanding semi-motivational speeches given by the eternal optimistic Mr.ISB keeps me alive. I have also changed my loyalty from paper books to Kindle App due to my over shooting expenses on books and the need of keeping them with me all the time. Of course the feel and the smell is missing big time but then there has to be a trade off.

When I am in office, I take everything to slow down my metabolism. I do not go for the lunch, I hate the all-women-girls lunch group talks to the core. I do not even go with my guys-group of lunch as well. In short my calls with stake holders affect my mind in such a way that, I throw it on my body. Not acceptable, I know.

When I am at home. I cook (Good or bad!) out of the overwhelming feelings towards food. Seriously, I feel satisfied from within. I guess each and every droplet of my blood celebrates the joy when I cook and feed two souls.

Yummy pancakes!

Masala Tomato rice!

Pithado - Besan ki sabji - Mom's Input!

Kofta - Healthy No fry!

Super healthy Atte ka sheera - With minimum Ghee and Jaggery!

Stuffed Grilled Bell Pepper - Waiting for Oven to make it properly !

I guess the amount of frustration I gather in office every day, safely turns into a unique food dish. Not in my life time I took so much of interest naturally in cooking. Cooking is therapeutic! My cooking adventures are truly supported - guided by her and both moms, in Eklavya style! 

Yesterday, after Repeating cooking-reading-sleeping cycle for three times we managed our asses to move out and as usual we went for a long walk which ended with a dinner and the Crossword visit. 

I was happy, things were soothing out and I realized the working day is knocking on the door! 

Frustration, Food and Books - Here I come again.

Domesticated?

Then there came a message from one of my colleagues, " You are cooking fancy stuff! Finally like us, you are domesticated after marriage. Hahahahaha. Welcome to the poor working women's gang!"

I was offended big time. It is not the truth. 'Domestication' is not negative at all, for me.

Reasons are many. I am free to do whatever I want to do. Whatever I want to wear. I have developed my hobbies in last four months, more than I did in last two years. I love having a kitchen of my own and not the shared one with my room-mates. I love keeping my home spick-and-span. Does that mean I have forcefully changed myself? Is doing domestic stuff so bad that makes you a part of that 'Poor Working Women's Gang'?

Well there are gazillion perspectives and all are based on situations but this led me to a long introspection. I was flabbergasted when I concluded, the so called 'Domestication' is something I love, at this point of life'.

I remember the rebellion self ,yours truly,who abhorred cooking in teens. I had some limited food dishes in my wish list and was never driven towards cooking them for any one, forget myself. I was the 'career conscious kind of a Mechanical Engineer'. I was ' I will get myself a cook' kind of a young girl. The happiness was in challenging everything my class-mates and friends do in the male dominating field. My mom dad supported me in whatever I wanted to do, crowded by 89 guys in the class of 90 students and with my several groups which contained guys most of the time.

My OCD to keep things clean appeared from my DNA gifted by my mom once I left my home town for the very first job. Till then mom was there to make me do the stuff like organizing cupboards and helping her in the kitchen to keep it clean as if the whole kitchen was bought from Ikea, every single day.

After moving three cities in India and a country on my own, I have picked up some curiosity to make all of our meals delicious. I crave to keep my kitchen spotless, my drawing room cozy with sunshine. Well, there are days when I just have to leave with the dirt on the platform due to the tired body and frustrated soul continuously worrying about work at office. Even after office hours.

I make Mr.ISB the guinea pig for cooking experiments, believe me, I am a toddler in this journey which gives me immense satisfaction after feeding two stomachs and thus my heart. I feel the brilliance of the light at the end of the tunnel when I smile after cleaning and organizing things piled up in all those corners of my house. I love spending some time with my plants who managed to survive my regular absence due to travelling.

I feel the marriage made these things possible. I realized what I do in the day time at office is nothing but chasing this male chauvinist field of  Mechanical Engineers, proving my efficiency in doing things better than many of them but the whole I-am-as-good-as-any-of-them feel does not give me joy any more. I feel drained, I feel gripped by some jaws. May be the salary drives me and pushes me to keep doing what I do.

I do not think, house-stuff home-stuff makes me that poor working woman included in the so called bothered gang of ladies. I have started loving cooking, cleaning, buying grocery, experimenting unique dishes which I hated in 25 years of my life.I am not that poor thingie, domesticated after the wedding.

The word 'Domesticated' is not at all worth what I feel.

The sense of meeting your soul, with each of the tasty meal I cook is not worth so much of negativity.