October 12, 2014


Then there came a message from one of my colleagues, " You are cooking fancy stuff! Finally like us, you are domesticated after marriage. Hahahahaha. Welcome to the poor working women's gang!"

I was offended big time. It is not the truth. 'Domestication' is not negative at all, for me.

Reasons are many. I am free to do whatever I want to do. Whatever I want to wear. I have developed my hobbies in last four months, more than I did in last two years. I love having a kitchen of my own and not the shared one with my room-mates. I love keeping my home spick-and-span. Does that mean I have forcefully changed myself? Is doing domestic stuff so bad that makes you a part of that 'Poor Working Women's Gang'?

Well there are gazillion perspectives and all are based on situations but this led me to a long introspection. I was flabbergasted when I concluded, the so called 'Domestication' is something I love, at this point of life'.

I remember the rebellion self ,yours truly,who abhorred cooking in teens. I had some limited food dishes in my wish list and was never driven towards cooking them for any one, forget myself. I was the 'career conscious kind of a Mechanical Engineer'. I was ' I will get myself a cook' kind of a young girl. The happiness was in challenging everything my class-mates and friends do in the male dominating field. My mom dad supported me in whatever I wanted to do, crowded by 89 guys in the class of 90 students and with my several groups which contained guys most of the time.

My OCD to keep things clean appeared from my DNA gifted by my mom once I left my home town for the very first job. Till then mom was there to make me do the stuff like organizing cupboards and helping her in the kitchen to keep it clean as if the whole kitchen was bought from Ikea, every single day.

After moving three cities in India and a country on my own, I have picked up some curiosity to make all of our meals delicious. I crave to keep my kitchen spotless, my drawing room cozy with sunshine. Well, there are days when I just have to leave with the dirt on the platform due to the tired body and frustrated soul continuously worrying about work at office. Even after office hours.

I make Mr.ISB the guinea pig for cooking experiments, believe me, I am a toddler in this journey which gives me immense satisfaction after feeding two stomachs and thus my heart. I feel the brilliance of the light at the end of the tunnel when I smile after cleaning and organizing things piled up in all those corners of my house. I love spending some time with my plants who managed to survive my regular absence due to travelling.

I feel the marriage made these things possible. I realized what I do in the day time at office is nothing but chasing this male chauvinist field of  Mechanical Engineers, proving my efficiency in doing things better than many of them but the whole I-am-as-good-as-any-of-them feel does not give me joy any more. I feel drained, I feel gripped by some jaws. May be the salary drives me and pushes me to keep doing what I do.

I do not think, house-stuff home-stuff makes me that poor working woman included in the so called bothered gang of ladies. I have started loving cooking, cleaning, buying grocery, experimenting unique dishes which I hated in 25 years of my life.I am not that poor thingie, domesticated after the wedding.

The word 'Domesticated' is not at all worth what I feel.

The sense of meeting your soul, with each of the tasty meal I cook is not worth so much of negativity.

No comments:

Post a Comment