September 27, 2013

On faces I have.

I have got to know about some different faces of mine in last few months. Not that they were great discoveries, or a result of introspection. They are faces and labels given by others.

Face 1: About being Kiddish : I am kiddish and that is the opinion all my friends carry. Surprisingly my parents and relatives think I was kiddish at the age of 5 and afterwards I am never kiddish. That is the birth time of my brother. There was one time when I used to laugh at this label but let me be honest it is like an insult for me now. I don't know but this label irritates hell out of me. As I said I carry this tag only for friends, which confuses me more about my original face.

Face 2: About being immature: If it is related to taking decisions in life, I think apart from selecting gadgets and clothes I was rarely confused. I don't think so, I took any decision of my life with immature mindset. In fact just like the above point my parents never feel I am immature. My dad sometimes feel I almost behave like a grand mother in handling some complex behavioral issues of females. Irony is some of my best friends feel the word 'Immature' was actually created for me only.

Face 3: About being incompetent in dealing with people: This is a tag which I laugh at the most. I left home about four years ago. I met some hundreds people and as I am too extrovert I have undergone and I might undergo feelings like happiness, friendship, hurt, betrayals, heart breaks. People say I am too sensitive, I am sure I am. Does it mean I am not competent in dealing with people? Dealing with a room mate who attempted to do suicide, dealing with a bunch of friends who just disappeared in the air, dealing with a room mate who almost depressed me by different tactics, dealing with a pair of classmates who believed that I am one backward Desi as I am a vegetarian and absolutely don't drink etc is a joke? Yeah I failed at times, but then I always moved on. Just because I express what I am going through doesn't make me weak or prove that I am incompetent.

Face 4: About being not so practical : This is something I am. Even my parents feel I am not so practical. I count it as a personality trait then the lack of a particular skill. Emotions are one of the important part of my soul and being practical is something doesn't work for me. If you ask me an option from an emotionally secured world without any other facility and a perfect world with all facilitates without any companion , I will choose the first one within micro seconds. In fact,being too practical ruins emotions from some hearts and that is something impossible for me. As one of my close friend once told me, I have a scope of improvement on balancing emotional front, I agree with him. Though I feel, every body has a scope of improvement. Some needs to be more emotional about life and some needs exactly the opposite. Life is about balancing the inner emotions and external affairs. Isnt it?

If I sum up four faces I mentioned above, I think I am still a teenager. Not that I care. As I know the moment I will face off them, I will be not what I want to be. I will be a powerful person, but not  the one with the life.

I happily describe myself as a sensitive person who likes to take decisions by heart then my mind. I do fall on my face due to the emotional over load but then mistakes make you grow. Right?

1 comment:

  1. The best description seems to be the 'grandmother' as felt by your dad!