October 9, 2014

Putting thoughts together!

This is a better title than 'Blabbering again'! Looks composed. Well, my mind is far from behaving composed. Trillion thoughts bubbling together in the tiny cabinet are rushing on to appear on this blog now.

Mornings of my own. With Mr.ISB on a business trip and my maid's usually late arrival has created a confusions in my mind. Is the lonely time, I needed to things I wanted to do or it is plain annoying to get disturbed in between. A new found my-morning-love and the excuses of my  maid as well as irritating phone calls. Even if your office permits you to come a little late, your stake holders at the job wont.Blah.

My mind is over loaded with things I want to do and so as a 'List-maniac' of the highest order, I have calmed down my self by putting it on a piece of paper. Only if I can fulfill them all.

I have been opening up new tabs by clicking links recommended by friends and try to clip on them to some applications for the later-on-reads. I fail to check any of them. I abhor almost all 'cliping' application. I am a big fan of simple, neat and user friendly yet fast designs. Be it websites, applications, Software , furniture or machines. Anything clumsy turns my mood into a even more clumsier state of mind than that pretty clumsy thing. The truth is, I hate when I forget about those links.You know what I mean. I wish I had all the time in the world to read them all, one by one. Like some body said some days back, while making an Adarakhwali chai for the first time in his life at 11.30 pm before I had to attend my USA conference call with choked nose, "There is so much of knowledge in the world." Yeah, Like learning how to make a cup of tea which Bubblegum can relish at the Veee hour. Mr.ISB!

I have become a personality of  all great OCDs on this earth. Mr.ISB puts into a different way. I am a control freak personality. I need to be organised if I want to feel good. A trip plan, a shopping plan, a super market visit, a hobby list. I need to plan on dot. Apart from such 'Plans', I need a clean sink, a clean platform, a well arranged book storage and a perfectly ironed as well as placed pile of clothes. Even when my sofa is full of office bags and my coffee-table has piles on newspapers on it. OCDs appear in installments for me.

I have been thinking a lot on ambitions lately. Not a single decision of my life was taken against my wish. I am in the field  I wanted to be. I studied what I always wanted to. I earn and agree to the fact that all corporate jobs suck. I doubt if my ambition was my aggressiveness to accept challenge to be the part of a male dominated field and prove myself?

The 'fitness-freak' side of my husband has made me realize, how much fat I have accumulated apart from loosing on immunity and getting back-pains all the time. I really don't want to look like a big fat buffalo in coming days. Time to re-focus on the workout plan.

A lot of chaos inside, isn't it? Hey, I am still positive.

All good things start with chaos!