If you would have met me when I was little over four years , I would look like an introvert and shy kid. If at 13, little shy but not too introvert. At 21, super extrovert and bold, aiming high in life. At 25, I would seem that I have friends in every corner of the city I have ever been deputed to (thanks to the job) and at 28- I had kon-maried many friends. Sheesh!
No, serious! It was the year of wedding when I failed to cope up with too many friendships. I started being selective about friends and if you are reading this and still has managed to be my Hi Hello friend - oh yes, buddy - you are the lucky one. (Now when I am 30, well- I have started konmaried relatives too!) And, believe me I was so relaxed after the selection of relationships I had attempted to make.
My husband said I was never a Naturale at being that extrovert, when it comes to my social life, I was always picky about people I really gel well with. It was that ingrained Indian mentality which stopped me from not being social, even if I don't like to be one at certain point of time.
This year, I am slowly noticing a serious change in me (Good for me, bad for social relations!) - I do not like to be taken for granted any more. I am investing more in relationships which are important to me or the ones which spark joy in me. I have suddenly become the person who is in no mood to wear a mask- If they are relatives and I do not like them, well they will get a smile but I can not be pushed to act like that good daughter/daughter in law who would talk to them for hours even when she doesn't feel like doing it.
Then there is this every day life. In the office and at home, I am becoming less involved in social interactions to call me a perfect extrovert. I know with whom I can spend hours just chatting and with whom, I would like to go formal/ do basic duties of being in a certain role. I do not think there was any single event which triggered it but I am just following my heart more often. (Not that I escape from confusions and guilt for not obeying rules laid by the judgmental society)
I have also noticed myself loving my own company a lot more than ever. I don't need people around me all the time. I grab smallest possible opportunity to spend with myself or having a silent date with Mr.ISB (Oh yes there is a thing! Both of you enjoy solitude - yet you are in the same room, feeling connected)
There is this amazing peace within me, most of the times when I can do what I want do in terms of my social life and interactions. No forceful social conversations, no wearing mask. Enjoying company and conversations with people I love...
...Including myself.
My own Zone or Zen.
No, serious! It was the year of wedding when I failed to cope up with too many friendships. I started being selective about friends and if you are reading this and still has managed to be my Hi Hello friend - oh yes, buddy - you are the lucky one. (Now when I am 30, well- I have started konmaried relatives too!) And, believe me I was so relaxed after the selection of relationships I had attempted to make.
My husband said I was never a Naturale at being that extrovert, when it comes to my social life, I was always picky about people I really gel well with. It was that ingrained Indian mentality which stopped me from not being social, even if I don't like to be one at certain point of time.
This year, I am slowly noticing a serious change in me (Good for me, bad for social relations!) - I do not like to be taken for granted any more. I am investing more in relationships which are important to me or the ones which spark joy in me. I have suddenly become the person who is in no mood to wear a mask- If they are relatives and I do not like them, well they will get a smile but I can not be pushed to act like that good daughter/daughter in law who would talk to them for hours even when she doesn't feel like doing it.
Then there is this every day life. In the office and at home, I am becoming less involved in social interactions to call me a perfect extrovert. I know with whom I can spend hours just chatting and with whom, I would like to go formal/ do basic duties of being in a certain role. I do not think there was any single event which triggered it but I am just following my heart more often. (Not that I escape from confusions and guilt for not obeying rules laid by the judgmental society)
I have also noticed myself loving my own company a lot more than ever. I don't need people around me all the time. I grab smallest possible opportunity to spend with myself or having a silent date with Mr.ISB (Oh yes there is a thing! Both of you enjoy solitude - yet you are in the same room, feeling connected)
There is this amazing peace within me, most of the times when I can do what I want do in terms of my social life and interactions. No forceful social conversations, no wearing mask. Enjoying company and conversations with people I love...
...Including myself.
My own Zone or Zen.
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