Randomness strikes!

My life is moving on a hilly terrain, smooth yet changes directions every now and then. Of course, at the age of twenty five, people (relatives) if not hormones play a crucial role in disturbing your usual state of mind. Some thing or the other thing, big and small, keeps on happening and either I demotivate my self to push it on my blog for some reasons or people demotivate me unknowingly. In this confusion, I have five six drafts in my inbox which I wanted to publish and never did.

Introspection is an obsession now. I discover new weaknesses and new strengths in me, every now and then. Discouraged by many and encourages by my own people, I try to find my way in the blurred atmosphere. Thankfully, my people understand me and let me take time to move on another confusion. :D

Reading and photography are my constant companions, I try to cling on to them constantly. I eat, rather try to digest each book I read, my mom is fed up supplying me new books. It is that strange atmosphere when you know, you need a change but you cant do anything about it. You need to flow through.

I keep on thinking about work- life balance. I keep on thinking about dreams and day dreams. What is the difference between a dream and a day dreamer. Should I believe in the theories in 'The Magic' or should I be ready for any unexpected or say, worst conditions in life. The later thrives towards negativity, isnt it?

There are days when I absolutely don't think about 'ANYTHING', I just enjoy. Just before a week I was blessed with such days- Five days. Lovely people, crazy new friend, lots of shopping, theater and what not. I always knew,I should not waste this time of my life and crib about coming dull days after those five days. I think, I enjoyed a lot. I happily indulged into memories for one more week. Now I miss them, with hopes of revisiting them again.

Now let me clear my thoughts. Planning to blog something new every day. Yes. It makes me feel so good, promise to be more positive and come up with small stories about my life. 

Hide, Seek and Scribble

Of course, I was not very fond of this game in my childhood as I was quite dull and fearful to let my people go away and worst, being all alone, trying to find them. Little less I knew, I would enjoy it in my twenty fifth year.

I found myself suddenly hiding from all social networking platform. I was addicted to each of them once in my life and here I was feeling detached to all of them. There was this one platform - Blogging which made me come back on the internet and let me finish the game of 'Hide and Seek'! This decision was not made by me, actually situations did not permit me to cater to my addictions. Oh boy the peaceful life I enjoyed in the absence of such addictions. Of course I might come back once in a while on such platforms, but as of now I very well know, how I missed the 'real' life.

The 'seek' part which ended up with falling ill due to variations in atmospheres in the western parts of India but it made me learn management of billions of tiny feelings. Today when I have entered the quarter life crisis state, I feel my life can change at any moment of time, I am soon realizing the fact that I am slowly graduating towards that 'change'. Okay, now don't raise your eyebrows, changes are unknown and will be discussed over here as well.

The last one year which witnessed myself changing in each spheres of my life, is still giving my hormones a tough time. The impulsive Bubblegum starts responding in place of reacting, some times she cries out loud seeing huge uncertainties striking ahead, sometimes Bubblegum knows what she wants from life and some times she thinks if she will be loved by her own people for her unique and mad band of thoughts.

Anyway, days have passed in this same confused state of mind, I decided to blog out it. May be after years, while having a cup of adrakh wali chai , I laugh on myself reading this blog.

The wisdom and the luck shall strike soon, Amen.

The chase.

It is fresh in my mind. Some one has opened the valve of the nozzle sprinkling sorrow. There are fronts I am fighting at. There are dreams carved by me, I am fighting for. Let me be clear, this word 'fighting' doesn't mean fighting with some one. It says, I am fighting against odds. Just cleared it out as I know this word made my world upside down a few years before.

Being at home and being nearer to loved ones, are two positive things. May be only positive things in my life as of now. Suddenly I am falling into a well, full of depression and darkness. I try everyday, to shower some positive feelings. It works for a while and I am back to square one.

Even in my dreams, I scream so that I can come out of some cage. The cage where I am comfortable but I want challenges. Challenges which can develop me.

Nothingness in a life of a hyper active girl can create a havoc. A messy one. I am suffering. Imagine I have not played a single prank in last three months. Just imagine.

My family and buddies are standing just beside me but I can not show them that I am weak. I cant cry in front of them. They give me courage, I understand their constant tries to make me smile. What can I do?

My decisions, my ethics, my wishes, my dreams. I am chasing everything. 

Let me be me..

Let me be me, to enjoy with you;
You gave me wings to fly, to feel the hue.

The land beneath is calling me so dearly,
You tell that is gravity, clearly.

Science is dear to you, I find spirit in it,
You convert fantasies in facts, I live in it.

The poem seems disoriented,has a feel.
It is to show, how do I love thee.

Because I need to write.

Days I have not been writing. Phew. Not that I don't have things to write about but twitter served as a tool for my mind who is busy in weaving one liner or a minute long thought. It eventually tweets and shuts off.

I must say, I missed blogging though. An open blank page and a mind-a heart filled with expressions are together an opportunity to bring out the inner you. If I talk life today, blogging about it right away will not be a bad idea.

* 2 hours this draft was open without one more word written on it*

See, I told you there are so many things to write about and my hyperactive mind calmly refuses  to pen down any one thought calmly. Yes , you got it write. Even when I try, I wont be able to blog. Is this kind of a writer's anti block with the same effect as writer's block? Okay now don't kill me, I am not a writer here.

I will get back to you, right in some days.

Because I know, I need to write.

PS: Before readers start throwing eggs and rotten tomatoes let me just close this tab.

Amdavad ni Pol!

Pol is a lane. So if you hear things about Amdavad's Pol culture, I assure you it will be something about uniqueness. The government thankfully, after years has realized the heritage value and have started the heritage walk but my curious sole wanted to see the famous 'old and amazing' structures managed to visit the 'Pol'.

Of course I am no great photographer but I managed to click some memories. Of course all rights are reserved. More about Amdavad after my heritage walk, for sure!

Kuch pairo ke niche to hai!!

Bling Bling .... Tiding! :)