December 16, 2013

Random Introspection of a rebellious, feminist soul!

Then I was this girl who was rebellious like that spark which can ignite the jungle fire. I believed in gender equality to the core. No, I did not believe in quota reservations for women or even anything close to it.

I believed Saree is graceful but not too comfortable as an every day attire (every time) than Salwar Kameez. I thought a pair of jeans can do the justice to even a month long trip with all fashion you can think of flaunting. I believed even guys should learn light cooking, they should help their mothers, sisters and wives if females of the house are working. In fact even if they are not, there is no harm in helping them sometimes.

I believed any big decision in the family should be taken in mutual agreement with members of  the family irrespective of their gender. I was also firm about rights of members of the family regarding clothing, expenditure and other personal things-which should be the same for both genders.

Rules should be made, but for both members with limits. It should not suppress the growth or happiness of one specific gender.

Now I am a different person, I have got lots of faith in all above ideas of my mind-heart.I feel how fortunate I was that, I argued with every single person who opposed me, who got offended by my free thinking and labelled me as a feminist. In fact I also believe I am a feminist in the true sense. A lady with the cotton or Khadi kurta/ saree , struggling or fighting with a few persons in the court for some rights is not a feminist. She can be but it doesn't define what feminism is. The true feminism is believing in gender equality.

A day before I had put a question in front of some random people,  if any one can tell me what all fun, unique and creative things a would be bride can plan apart from pre-wedding girls night out ideas.Some guys advised me to learn cooking, one of them asked  me to take tips from elders on 'How to make my in laws happy'! None of the girls said that. None. Honestly I wanted to punch these guys on the face.

My thinking is too different and some day I feel I am going to be too harsh on my would be's ideology if at all it evolves in another direction  than me. I should also mention, his thoughts are almost of my frequency and he believes in Gender equality too seriously. ( I need to write a separate post on this!) So the clash rate can be less than expected by me!

The biggest improvement I need in my thinking is - In fact stopping thinking about 'what people will say if I will follow my theory'! I see no progress in that direction for a few years at least!

At the end I feel proud of my self, that I  managed to strive through all conservative theories and never gave up on my thinking.I feel even more proud of my self for selecting a life partner who never enforces a single decision on me. Touchwood. *Thank you God*

 (I am pretty sure most of the readers will think I am the one who never adjusts.)

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