January 9, 2014

Trapped by weird memories.

It happens. I told me self. I was a little uncomfortable with what was going on in my mind. I would not say anger or pain was say, it was just the pure discomfort.

Nostalgia does not give you sweet pain always. It brings weird feelings which are not known. It makes you think if what all decisions you made, if they were so right why did you even suffer? Why did you even fall into it. Why did not you moved on faster? Why did you controlled in a natural manner. Why everything went on like a black box for you?

Last four years of my life has gone through Tsunami. Waves of changes with waves of emotions. I learnt all things in life which was never there in my mind before. Never. I also got the best at the end. I am glad I am attending some sort of certainty some where slowly, touch wood.

More I open the laptop and the blank screen of blog spot, more I think. More I feel trapped in a jaw formulated by my own mind and density. I work subconsciously, I make mistakes, I focus and after a period of time again feel the grip of the same pain less and yet weird jaw.

Today, if I want to work, pack for shifting tomorrow, I need to get out of this. Just move back to my present. The past is offering me nothing, not even tears, anger or pain. Nothing. I was on the verge of deleting them forever and it all came back in my memory. Unfair.

Will some one carefully pull out of this today?? 

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