U for Unmanned

One of the reasons I love India is availability of manpower here. You get your Laundry wala, you get your cook, you get your maid,you get some one to deep clean your house. If you earn you can very well burn your money to get things done. Though several parts of India are now feeling the gap between the demand and the supply. The segment who used to do the needful stuff are either educated enough to do more brainy work or simply do not want to work while enjoying different perks under quotas available. And so slowly but surely, big cities are moving towards Do-Your-Own stuff.

We have been suffering the aftershock of suddenly loosing our maid and the cook together for no-idea-how-many-months. Generally I manage like we used to in Singapore or while living alone in different cities of India. Now blame it on the hectic schedule or a new household with five people living under one roof and each one of us having career to manage. Yes,mummy becomes the first victim as she would generally manage the maid and cook department but now when none are available- three females of the family struggle! Okay I do not count mummy in the active member but then it happens that she has to go to a lot of things because me and my SIL would have office to tackle.

Mornings are the most stressful.Making Dal-Sabji-Roti-Salad along with breakfast and then preparing tiffin for two. Having tea and the hot breakfast, taking bath and getting ready. Things are not easy even when we are three people to cook (Help from Mr.ISB is a dream as of now) After cooking, replacement maid comes to clean the house but she does half of the things and washing clothes in the machine along with drying them up is left anyway for us. Today in the morning when I was rushing to the office after all the work done, sweating hard I realized how we have become slaves of the outside help.

I have lived in Singapore and we four girls had managed to cook,clean and laugh.In Pune some how thanks to Mr.ISB's help used to save my evenings and my Singapore habits did not make me go insane or exhausted every single time. Of course managing a family is no easy deal from any stretch of my imagination but the joy of being extra independent is something I'm missing.More over I have seen my mother,masis, buas, MIL and other females cribbing about the sudden vacations by maids -to some extent I've become the same. Even when maids come, co-coordinating our schedules with theirs become too stressful,many reschedule their plans just to avail there services or get under the panic mode if they cannot.

Days are not too far when we would be equipped with mops and vacuum cleaners every week, cleaning laundry on our own, drying them up, ironing them all. With each passing day I feel,I'm spoiling myself and later on would not be able to manage if things would fall on my shoulders.

And so I've decided to slowly do my own stuff.

1.In future buy a small vacuum cleaner to clean curtains, get rid of dust particles from all possible surfaces, book shelves in a breeze. My allergy can be controlled as well if I really use it.
2.Drying up and folding clothes on my own.
3.Asking every single person of the house to undergo a small cleaning drive every day for ten minutes.I'm sure, no one would mind cleaning their own home for ten minutes.
4.Washing bathrooms/toilets every day on my own. So many kids are not habitual of seeing this work as an important thing to do for hygiene. I'm sure my kid/kids/others'kids would learn something while watching me cleaning washrooms.
5.Discarding all the old and waste stuff which never got used. No things, no maintenance.
6. Like I have been doing since days, cleaning each glass and gadget furniture with a glass cleaner in the morning. This every day habit would not let me be totally dependent on maids.
7. Try to cook for five people once in a while.
8. Washing utensils and making them squeaky clean faster than average time taken by others ,comes to me naturally. I would maintain the habit.
9. I won't go mad chasing above goals.

Some times I envy people in US of A/Singapore. Doing their own stuff smartly, as a family with a weekly help.Life can be too independent!

T for Tea-mate

I have developed a very weird  extreme taste for tea and it is liked tolerated by not many people. Specially the people with very sensitive health . My mother and my brother hate tea of my taste because both are not at all comfortable with the amount of spice it has. So its only dad who loves /enjoys tea made by me with yours truly singing 'Tujhko Mirchi Lagi To Mein Kya Karoo' for the rest of my family in Ahmedabad.

After wedding it is my Dad-in-law who loves spicy tea with a lot of ginger, a pinch of cinnamon, very little sugar and green tea leaves if available. My Sister-In-Law and Mother-in-Law, both have delicate stomachs which creates acidity and hence daily it becomes a tussle between both parties on which kind of tea to make-Spicy or super dull with only a pinch of brown color.

I generally don't make my type of the tea when guests are home,true to the Bhav of Atithi Devo Bhava as I do not like silent curses given after two hours of the tea-drinking session.  :D

Yesterday I got a shocker. When my Dad-in-Law's eldest sister came home.She is almost of my Grandmother's age, may be younger by 5-6 years and not more.The super cheerful, strong willed and well read lady she is, was suppose to have tea-snacks at home. I always get nervous when I talk about food or cook food for her as she is the Tarla Dalal of our family (like my own grandmother again!) and my MIL very well knows this.It was quite a shocker when my MIL asked me to make tea for her - that too my type! Her exact words were 'Make tea of your taste, exact. Do not compromise with the taste.'My Dad-in-law also agreed silently.

Now, I was nervous and confused. She is old and after 70 people rarely like extreme tastes.Nonetheless I managed to make super spicy tea- Full of Masala which I procured all the way from my hometown-exactly from the firm who is specialized in herbs, spices and pulses since decades. (This masala is not for faint-hearts. It has dry ginger, pepper, Shankhpushpi, Mulethi, Tulsi and Lavang. Very very little amount of the mixture is needed for making tea in comparison with other mixes we get in the market)

I was mentally prepared to add some milk and sugar in the tea as I knew how Kadak  chai it was. To my utter dismay, she loved it.

She loved it! The Sakshat Annapurna of my family loved the tea. My types of the tea!

Overjoyed I was, I am. It is an understatement.

I guess, she is by far the oldest tea-mate I have got.

S for Sister (In-Law)

Unlike those 'Nanads' who burn their 'Bhabhis' hands with hot boiling water in Bollywood movies my Sister-in-law only makes me wait outside the house if I ring the bell and she is the only person at home- sitting on the sofa-doing something while acting to ignore me royally for a few minutes.

With this 'wicked' and fun sister in law- I do things which I never did before, with any of my cousins.(My real younger brother refuse to do any of such sharing activities which I can do with sisters.)

Sharing:
Something which I have missed in my childhood and teen age because most of the cousins I have are either too young for my age or they are taller than me or they just have different taste! Hence the sister-sharing thing never happened. Sharing with my brother was restricted to sweets which he loves.Oh wait that was the barter deal- as one small bowl of salad in his dish used to become mine if I share that small piece of sweet! Well, I digress. So, we share accessories, scarves ,hair dryers, perfumes.In fact, like true sisters we used to share the room as well when Mr.ISB was in Pune for six months!

Pranks:
I'm one prankster and every friend of mine knows this. Well, I have got one real one in my family now, if I do not count my mother and my brother in. This girl has gifted me a real sadakchhap shringar kit which had a dirty-cheap looking Mangal sutra, sindoor, lipstick, bindipack and kajal, on my birthday before the wedding! Moreover, she wanted me to apply/wear all of them so I can click a picture and send it to her!!She calls a bar our mind spa and often makes me drink to see if I get high or not! (Well, I do not like the taste of any such drinks apart from Mojito and some wines!) Needless to say when we three kids of the family go to the bar, Mr.ISB never drinks alcohol.

Our love for Fawad:
Yeah, this love for him is so strong that she actually said that she doesn't mind if Fawad chooses me over her, to get married (again!) because 'Chalon hum dono meinse kisiko to Fawad Mila!' When we discuss or watch his Telefilms or dramas we conveniently forget that I am married to her real brother and Fawad is married too!

Complimenting Each Other:
Now where our frequencies don't match we compliment each other. As lame it sounds, she is okay with managing kitchen sans cleaning while I am okay with cleaning things up when our maid decides to enjoy a vacation,putting mom-in-law in a panic mode! She loves mess and I love organizing stuff but we both have strike a balance to organize a mess. *If you understand what I mean!*

Night Time Discussions:
So after dinner once in a while, when we get our own space we put up crazy videos on Chrome Chast and laugh rolling on the floor. We talk in a nonsensical way where two sentences might not even co-relate with each other. When Mr.ISB was not in the town we had managed to survive long laughter attacks waking up mom dad in the bedroom at 12 in the night.

Kitchen Chronicles:
We can make tasty dishes together but most of the times we create 'topics' to discuss just to fade of the boredom off which gets induced by making Chapatis or similar staple dishes. She is one of those few persons I have allowed to be in the kitchen when I try a new recipe.

Care:
She is the one who asks me to slow down in my 'planned' life. It makes sense too. When I overdo something she points it out. She is the one who inspire me to take care of myself when I go into a self destructive mode. She has this unique brain where she can bifurcate important and not so important stuff clearly which I lack. Needless to say she inspires me every time she does that.

Our love for her Brother:
It goes without saying that we both love him,but we also Kosofy him together when we get pissed off by him! We both hate his one random word response to our 'touched the moon' excitement. We do irritate him together by our constant chatting many a times. We manage to discuss his act of sticking his butts to his favorite sofa. When I get into a tiff with her brother, this sister gets into the hibernation and when she fights with her brother I try to do the same.

Confession:
Yes,I confess I'd never thought getting a sister-in-law would be so much fun even when I had no bias against the community of Sister-in-laws. She made it too easy for me to adjust to the family which anyway was not really tough. My sister-in-law is the sister I never got before!

Let me put this way,

 She is the best wedding gift I got on (and before) my wedding!

:-)

R for Revamp

Our lives need revamps every few years/months. These revamps either happen naturally due to age/experience or people bring it to themselves for  good. As and when we grow old, challenges change, situations change and if we behave too snobbish to change ourselves it does not always do the good. Now revamps when I mention here, is a positive change in life. I've a few for myself- either already initiated or collecting my courage to make them happen.

Wardrobe Revamp: 
Because I've been always too lazy to shop offline since long. I have tried buying quality clothes and shoes splurging money but always tend to forget that daily usage can also perish them which is inevitable. So in a few months I have to move my ass again to the mall to help myself dress up smarter. I have no patience for online shopping but lately I feel it is more convenient than to waste my day amidst saving myself from scorching heat, jam packed malls, traffic and freeing up a day for the heroic task. After giving this explanation when I feel better now, I must admit I have to buy formals wear, casual clothes, night wears, formal shoes, sports shoes, a yoga rug and what not. None of these mentioned things in my wardrobe are in a good shape to use. Only the Maha traditional ones are worth wearing, which are nicely hanging on those hangers which rarely get out of the closet when some one decides to get married.

Work out Revamp:
This is something I've been working upon since two weeks. I used to walk a lot. A LOT. Home to station and station to home- 40 minutes minimum in a day. Then the summer arrived and the comfort went to the trash. Sweating and heat penetrating into the skin got me exhausted in an unhealthy way.Finally I decided to be less Ziddi and started exploring options to switch my work out to activities like walking/running/dancing/yoga. Options were many but the habit of sleeping at 12.30 am did not help me out. So, the mission 'Revamp' started with a lot of brain storming and ended up on doing everything at home! Haah. Now, people feel when we work out at home, work out becomes too casual but hey, for me dancing is never casual! And so a Yoga and Dancing session every day like no one is watching - has become my workout. I get a drop to the station from home and the return journey is generally through a hired taxi. If I do not get the taxi I walk but as it is late evening, it is not too exhausting.

Food Revamp:
I'm loosing hair, my skin has become too dull and if I look back at my diet it is clearly the root cause. I need to consume more leafy vegetables, less cooked stuff, a lot of protein. These are not my words, these are doctor's words when I asked her on call about it. I need to grab a big bowl of salad every single day- a sum of what we all family members eat as of now. I need to grab a fruit or two every day, which I have started to follow. My intake of sprouts has reduced to zero. Need the revamp at any cost. Smoothie or no smoothie, I need to incorporate greens in my meals.

Q for Questions

Why is my damn back paining so much even when I work out?
Why the hell this scorching sun does not go away?
Oh my god, the cook is on vacation, life is a lot like hell. What to do?
Should I dance, dance or dance?
Oh this road from station to office, why dont you be friends with trees?
Why do I hate dressing up so much suddenly?Wait, time for a wardrobe change?
Well, should I go to a temple? Why do I feel so?
Why do I need a break from socializing when I'm really social?
When should I go to my home town to see my mom?
Why do I feel so hungry?
Why am I getting so exhausted?
Wow, did I ever know I would get such an interesting assignment to do?
Am I drinking enough water?
Should I walk from the station to home?
Why am I not getting the damn tea!?
Why am I enjoying being alone so much?Is it the super hectic day?
Should I deep clean the room to stop sneezing?
Should I ask dad to courier his favorite vacuum cleaner which I secretly wish to be mine?
Why am I so tired to go for shopping?
Oh man,I do not have enough formal clothes! What should I wear tomorrow?
Should I start taking dance classes?

They never end. Questions.

Do you question yourself,like I do? All the time?

P for Parallel

#Parallel world.To be precise #

Relative-1: Oh,come to our city for four-five days, as now toh you are totally free.(Referring to Mr.ISB's Denmark Deputation)

Me: Oh I do not have Saturdays off so I'm not that free to travel to another city but would try for sure.

In the parallel world..

Me: My husband does not make me work all the day also he is not my boss at work. So his being out of country does not really make me 'Totally' free. 

***

Relative-2: Poor girl. On her birthday her husband is not there. It would be difficult for her to stay alone with in-laws.

Me: I enjoy wherever I am! Also my in-laws are awesome people and I'm enjoying my day.

In the Parallel world..

Me: I have spent 3/4th of my life without my husband, big deal if he is not there. You don't have to remind me all the time that he is out of country. Also unlike daughter-in-laws of those daily soaps my life is supported by every one from my husband's family.

***

Relative-1 telling my MIL while she is stuffing cabbage, beans and cheese in Nachos for him..

Relative 1: This is my wife and my daughter's department. I don't do anything. (Pride in the air)

Me: Hmmmm

In the Parallel world..

Me: That is not exactly to be proud of. May be doing such small things for yourself would teach your daughter two things about independence and gender equality. 

***

Aunty: Why do pregnant girls now a days don't eat properly. The child would get affected.

Me: Hmmmm *Better to finish the topic then and there!*

In the Parallel world..

Me: Haaan Haan, You were never worried about the girl's health before. Not eating properly is not good for the girl first. Why do you aunties always care only for the unborn child. Both are precious. 

***

The Parallel world is where I unmask.

O for other

There are living and non-living things in life whom we don't like to care about but the society or the normal human tendencies of different types make us cling on to them.

Gifts. Some you love to the core. You indulge in them forever. But then there are things which you have not used EVER or stopped using them because either their life is over or you can not use them due to location, seasonal constraints or simply you do not like them any more.Do you discard them? At least, I take time to realize their worthlessness.

Clothes. Some of them are bought by you.Sometimes people buy them for you and eventually you do not wear them at all because your choice changed or you simply felt uncomfortable in them. Do we discard them?

Books. This one is almost impossible for me. I can not discard even one book. Even when the book is just too boring to read eleven odd pages. Even when it is about something which can evoke sleep in the otherwise an owl- that is me. I need to start discarding those bundles of pages/booklets I picked as memories of cities I visited or bought them just out of curiosity but never bothered to read.

Other miscellaneous stuff like rolls of ribbons,pens,old visiting cards, old gadgets, wires. We don't use them at all or we do but may be once in a year. It is wise to scrap totally nonfunctional things and keep a small part of things which you might need once in a year. The human tendency to save them for the rainy day does nothing but increase the mess in that cupboard of yours. Such things anyway hardly carry sentimental values.

People. Let's talk about discarding whom you do not like from tiny brains we have. Friendships which are already washed off feelings but you still tend to cling on to them for no reasons.Relationships which are unavoidable to not to manage but in a way they cost you a lot of heart burns even when you think about them. It is better to discard such people out of life. Doing something as a social obligation is cheating yourself. Peace of mind is something should be priority and clearly it is not being gifted by these people whom we just talked about. They create the same kind of mess in our lives, which useless books,clothes and gifts make.

Because anything which does not make you feel warm, it falls in to the 'OTHER' category.

And one should ignore, avoid and discard 'OTHER' if they come in between you and your happiness. (Or your suppose to be super organized home! :D )

I am starting with those 'OTHER' clothes,books and people. You?