August 29, 2016

An Essay on Photos, without photos

I was one enthusiastic (budding) photographer learning to click brilliant photographs and I always thought (After buying a little bit expensive DSLR from my very little salary) I was very close to the goal, circa 2009.Then slowly some wisdom started getting churned out of the 'Manthan' in my complex little brain. This post is made up of the poison which was created as a byproduct of the very same 'Manthan'.

By the time this poison started leaking out of my mind, world had gone crazier with the very same disease called 'Photos for Facebook'. People had started uploading photographs from the very poor quality phone cameras on Facebook. This act was a bearable offence but after the great 2009 recession suddenly money started pouring in, in the accounts of young people. (I wonder how suddenly every one had got amazing salary when Congress was still trying to convince that their 500 INR to each of the voters in the state of Gujarat would make them win the state election, before they got washed out in 2014) Some girls also made albums called 'My New Hairstyle' containing photos of themselves taken from 360 degree angles, no less by their fan following. Slowly people started buying Digital Single Reflex Lens (DSLR) cameras thinking they are automatic photo vending machines where every one would look glamorous and fetch 100 likes on Facebook.

Then came this Candid photography era where people started getting married to put photos on Facebook after spending almost a bomb. Marriage market started booming with cameramen/camerawomen who had more flexible bodies than today's Deepa Karmakar because they had to perform risky stunts while photographing bride and groom before and after wedding. I witnessed a photographer sleeping on the Mandap because he thought the sky with heads of bride and groom looked more convincing than the oath they were 'trying' to take in the name of the ritual. Wedding Photos in bulk upload on FaceBook had almost made some humble human beings puke. In fact, one of my cousin could not click pre-wedding photos, hence decided to create a count down in Public with posts like '42 days to go for the wedding' and maintained the enthusiasm till he reached the Mandap with '0.01 days to go' status.This disease is said to be still prevalent in the society even now,just that I am out of the marriageable age. Without getting infected- Please note.

Subsequently, the age of Instagram started. It was the biggest catastrophe in the art world of 7 billion artists, almost. Though I would say dogs, cow dungs and shoes never felt so important after getting clicked by Instagram users, it was still a tragedy. Before eating, clicking a photo became a ritual than praying. The pouting girls had started developing muscle pains in the cheeks, not that it made them giggle a bit less. Some doctors also became ruthless and started showing pictures of their dental surgeries on social media which indirectly gave more business to pharmacies selling medicines for vomiting. (Doctors first time in the history helped other professions this way)

By the time selfie-stick became a hit, the count of words spoken by females globally reduced by 30% due to the amble of time taken to pout and show chiseled look while taking selfies. I am all in for world peace, believe me but the obsession of taking selfies have created a space constraint on most of the servers on the earth. In fact, Google has been expanding its real estate properties exponentially to cover the demand of space in servers.

I'm (who has locked the camera in the wardrobe now for the good cause) now waiting for the day when beggars of the street of 'The city which never sleeps', would click selfies while sitting in the huts build on servers built on highways, while their clothes getting dried up- hanging on the radiators of very same servers. In fact, you never know servers become the new ecological system for livings thanks to 'Photo' fever taking over human beings.

Must Evolve, the science says.

No comments:

Post a Comment