Click for colour Green.

We had a huge garden at my old home, of course it was not that good. Ahmedabad is a city where a dessert takes birth every summer and by the time a sapling nurtures itself again the next summer returns  Though it was my papa's hard work ,my mom's help and a little bit of help from me and my brother (We were more interested in messing up with Mitti and Pani!) we could cultivate it. Any way nostalgia did not stop us from keeping ourselves away from the colour green.

At my new home, in the big balcony we have, papa and mom managed to create the same atmosphere if not the whole garden after months.It was tough and it is still tough to maintain. Papa also made a 'Green Parda' for 'green kids' to protect them from the harsh sunlight of the city.

I decided to capture some clicks of my favorite corner!

Flushing out?

When I was in Singapore, I had some unknown and yet gorgeous dreams in my eyes about India. All are being felt now. One very rare feeling is being cultivated in a corner of my heart. Something is gripping me hard to this land and I am afraid I have to leave India in a month's time for my studies.Well, that is after a month and I have other things to worry about.

My comfort couch, a mug of warm milk with old songs in the background and of course plenty of books to read- Heaven is not different for me at this point. I could successfully forget all my tensions and indulge in the world built by those stories in my books-interacting with all personalities in same stories. Life floats on clouds.

After a day or two all my hidden emotions started coming out. Strange enough, in Singapore I did not even felt like flushing out those sentiments- Happy or Sad, except my excitement to harass my roomies who had exams and I was free. Here at home, my soul has chosen  to clean up every small emotion out of my body so that I can nourish some more. I was sure it is for good.

Till last evening. I broke down on some discussions with my parents about shopping of Gold and ornaments. Mom was asking me to accompany her to select some ornaments for me. I know they are slowly preparing for my marriage since many months so that after a year and a half, when I will get married to that Mr.Right (according to my mom's view point), there wont be a sudden financial burden. I agree. Yet, something inside me cried. I broke in front of my parents, after months. I cried. In fact like a kid. My mom and dad both were worried. They asked me about anything I was worried about. The answer was ready,'No'.

I still wonder if it is just 'flushing out' emotions or something else. Life is smooth after the incident.

The voice

As I type in the comfort of my home, on my favorite couch with no caffeine in my hand I can feel the wave spreading in my mind. A wave soothing and relaxing me, my mind, my body and the soul.

I agree it is not the effect of my stay at home. In fact I was disturbed in a subconscious way I say. There was no single prominent reason for the little bit shocking state of mind, but still I suffered the little pain.In the morning I avoided talking to any one much and of course my dad again questioned if there was anything which made me worried.Obviously my answer was 'No'. I wanted something which I did not know. No, it did not hurt me or gave me pain, I was just a little bit hassled.

Suddenly a voice called me. I know this voice so much. It is a mirror sometimes, if I sound happy the voice increases it thousand times. If I sound low, it tries  to console and give solutions. If I crib it scolds me such that I will back to my original self.

The voice I heard for some twenty minutes. I was almost floating on the wave in my home, with a feel which adored me, pampered me. I interacted with the voice.The disturbance disappeared and while working after some time of the whole 'voice session', I realized,

Not every one is blessed with the voice. I am.

The voice of my best of best buddy!

While and when I reached home!

The long awaited moment was being enjoyed a lot when I started from my hostel to the airport. To keep my excitement on the saner side I decided to talk to the cab driver who was actually eager to know if I was a foreigner or a Singaporean. Those twenty minutes in my life actually made me proud being an Indian, made me aware that cab drivers in Singapore are well educated and knowledgeable personas. The man knew so much about Indian politics, culture, locations and of course good/bad habits of us, Indians. When he waved me 'BYE', I did not realized, it was just a starting, I am going to meet many more persons to call us as my buddies, at least for the journey part.

Two long and boring hours were spent doing window shopping and loosing my way to the correct 'Gate'. No one met me with whom I can start a talk and the reason I jumped from one shop to another to just keep myself calm. After security check in, it happened which did not happen in last three week. I slipped one more time and again the same knee got injured. When an Indian aunty (and none of the airport/airlines staff of Changi bothered about it) came to my rescue and I got the surprise. A friend of my university suddenly appeared from no where, made me sit aside and helped me to walk to the sit in the plane. The pain was so much that I almost cried, which subsided in smiles when I saw the whole flight full of Indian students. Yeah I had like minded people in the boring five hours journey, I enjoyed it to the core.

One of my buddies, as per my idea was waiting outside the International airport who had to manage with all my luggage so that I can enjoy all desi Pavbhaji and other delicious stuff. Those three hours passed in a blink! I ate so much that God knows how I managed to check in for the next flight to my home town. My dear buddy managed to throw the sleepy me inside the airport to take the flight. Of course I knew Air India would cause me more pain, with dull and messy atmosphere all around. No, I avoided everything as my energy was being used by my conscious to keep myself awake till I board the plane. Ones I boarded the plane, it was just sleeping and sleeping for almost forty five minutes followed by hassling on the airport to find my luggage- No administration was good but I was too sleepy even to identify my luggage.

Then I saw my Momma and my not-so-fatty-now-fitness-freak brother waiting for me, outside the arrival lounge  Then I remember only two things, My brother surprised me with a bag which contained life- P.A.N.P.U.R.I. Needless to say I could eat some six-seven, dived in the different world, kept my aching leg in the rear sit and slept off. The other day I found myself in the comfort of that very own warm environment.

Home!

So it is that time..

When I am numb enough and not feeling the actual charm. Yes, I am excited and yet a feeling inside me is resisting my mind from making any plans. I want to feel India, India with my own people, my own society, my own cities and my own soul, with all surprises.

I want to breathe in the otherwise polluted air, which is perceived as 'warmth' in my heart. I want to see those unknown and yet familiar faces, Indian faces. Just to connect with. I want to hear all my Indian languages, which I can understand or even better,which I can not. Of course I want to make myself realize that I am yet to explore the 'one' culture of India which includes billions of rituals, believes, thinking and life styles.

It seems I just landed up in Singapore, with eyes full of tears before a few minutes. Moments?Months and now here I am, ready to just fly to India and hug the very same 'my feeling'!

Words are less to explain, feelings are more than intense.

I can just say, 'It is that time...'!!!

Mumbai and Ahmedabad (with many other places I am planning to visit!) Here I come!

Numb omens.

I have experienced two kinds of omens like many people do, Good ones and Bad ones. I have recently discovered the third type.

As I am done with my exams and counting days for my India trip (which is 'ten'!), I am able to read numb omens.Let me explain. When my exams were going on, I was pretty excited over excited and sometimes even I found myself nervous about the whole trip- Expectations kill everything. After exams I am excited to a level which is actually not identifiable. I am numb-close to nervous and very close to excitement-If you can get what I mean.

I have decided to not to plan much, I am waiting for the trip to unfold fun with suspense, surprises and mysteries! I am sure some lovely people waiting for me back home are ready to have fun and I will be coming back in a new Avtar with hundreds of sentiments captured in my memory. This trust over destiny doesn't make me feel any better though. I have hundred things to do before I leave, and yet when I steal some time to dream about India I read 'Numb Omens' all over.

I guess, 'Numb Omens' sometimes bring big (and good?) changes in life.

Well, I can just wait, Numb omens!

From the 'Elder' sister!

It is that time of the year. On Second December, two decades ago, a series of really amazingly shocking (yeah these two words describe the perception of four year old Bubblegum) incidents happened to me.

I have a blurred image of the state of mind- I was confused, I was scared. My father had asked me to be with my aunt, my really BIG cousins were trying to keep me engaged and calm since hours.I really did not know what was going on. The only thing I was looking forward to was- my another aunt, who was going to come from Jamnagar and she had promised me to make a bowl of spinach soup on phone.I have another image too, after a few hours or may be days, there was some news in the air- Curfew in Ahmedabad and I had no idea where my mom was. Frankly, I was happy to see my dad or may be I could not identify my mom with a little kid in the hospital. Memories decay.

I remember the reaction which I suppressed seeing my mother's enthusiasm about a small red faced kid in her arms.For some days I thought 'my younger brother' was an ugly fatty kid and now when I see old photos I realize, he used to look so cute, honestly no body can beat that cuteness. No, I never looked so cute in my life. (My frock buddy N loves his cuteness! Huh!) He doesnt look that cute now luckily. Talking about sibling rivalry.

Baby record book written for me shows (and his too), I accepted him just like an elder sister should do. Just that sometimes when dad used to make him eat,asking me to eat on my own, I used to die with jealousy. Days passed, the fat little kid has now out grown me in heights by some six- eight inches (Now stop staring!) and also in the energy level. Yeah we both used to drink milk together, yet nature played a game on me! (Grins!)

No, we don't share my life-events with him, there are some reasons. I still think he is my younger brother ,so I demand that respect ,he still thinks, I am going to scold him for all those tiny things with which he annoys mom to the core. No, I can not ask him if he thinks Deepika Padukone looks hot.We both might die seeing each other's reactions!

No, we are not detached siblings! Of course I am his medium to transfer his 'wishes' to my parent's mind with all convincing sessions. Unlike those old days, when I used to hide his destructions under my portfolio and then shout at him after facing mom dad, we don't fight so hard. Of course punching each other on backs, targeting the spine or throwing pens at each other don't suit us now! We now observe silence when fight. We plan it for days and end up forgetting in an hour or two.

No, he still irritates me and I do so too, but we both have increased our tolerance limits like anything in past twenty years. So, my dear brother aka my fitness guide-car driver-singer, please increase your tolerance by some hundred folds on your birthday!

You are going to face me for a month- after some three years- soon!!

"Happy Birthday!"

PS: By the way numbers of  baby record books (mine!) shows, mom loves me more! I know this since years but never told you, brother!