December 17, 2012

Flushing out?

When I was in Singapore, I had some unknown and yet gorgeous dreams in my eyes about India. All are being felt now. One very rare feeling is being cultivated in a corner of my heart. Something is gripping me hard to this land and I am afraid I have to leave India in a month's time for my studies.Well, that is after a month and I have other things to worry about.

My comfort couch, a mug of warm milk with old songs in the background and of course plenty of books to read- Heaven is not different for me at this point. I could successfully forget all my tensions and indulge in the world built by those stories in my books-interacting with all personalities in same stories. Life floats on clouds.

After a day or two all my hidden emotions started coming out. Strange enough, in Singapore I did not even felt like flushing out those sentiments- Happy or Sad, except my excitement to harass my roomies who had exams and I was free. Here at home, my soul has chosen  to clean up every small emotion out of my body so that I can nourish some more. I was sure it is for good.

Till last evening. I broke down on some discussions with my parents about shopping of Gold and ornaments. Mom was asking me to accompany her to select some ornaments for me. I know they are slowly preparing for my marriage since many months so that after a year and a half, when I will get married to that Mr.Right (according to my mom's view point), there wont be a sudden financial burden. I agree. Yet, something inside me cried. I broke in front of my parents, after months. I cried. In fact like a kid. My mom and dad both were worried. They asked me about anything I was worried about. The answer was ready,'No'.

I still wonder if it is just 'flushing out' emotions or something else. Life is smooth after the incident.


  1. Bubblegum,

    Everything has to happen at given time. They are so wise, so just accept what is being done.

    Take care