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December 17, 2012

Flushing out?

When I was in Singapore, I had some unknown and yet gorgeous dreams in my eyes about India. All are being felt now. One very rare feeling is being cultivated in a corner of my heart. Something is gripping me hard to this land and I am afraid I have to leave India in a month's time for my studies.Well, that is after a month and I have other things to worry about.

My comfort couch, a mug of warm milk with old songs in the background and of course plenty of books to read- Heaven is not different for me at this point. I could successfully forget all my tensions and indulge in the world built by those stories in my books-interacting with all personalities in same stories. Life floats on clouds.

After a day or two all my hidden emotions started coming out. Strange enough, in Singapore I did not even felt like flushing out those sentiments- Happy or Sad, except my excitement to harass my roomies who had exams and I was free. Here at home, my soul has chosen  to clean up every small emotion out of my body so that I can nourish some more. I was sure it is for good.

Till last evening. I broke down on some discussions with my parents about shopping of Gold and ornaments. Mom was asking me to accompany her to select some ornaments for me. I know they are slowly preparing for my marriage since many months so that after a year and a half, when I will get married to that Mr.Right (according to my mom's view point), there wont be a sudden financial burden. I agree. Yet, something inside me cried. I broke in front of my parents, after months. I cried. In fact like a kid. My mom and dad both were worried. They asked me about anything I was worried about. The answer was ready,'No'.

I still wonder if it is just 'flushing out' emotions or something else. Life is smooth after the incident.

2 comments:

  1. Bubblegum,

    Everything has to happen at given time. They are so wise, so just accept what is being done.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete