Louder in my head, never said that

- Dude, you can not be so late for the office. Now, don't cry if you have to stay till Nine in the office.

- You would never make a mess on table because my friend, you never have to work with papers.

-  I am not going to care about how the cleaner cleaned the office. Unless it bothers me personally.

- No, I do not want to hear how magically he got cured  after he started fasting.

- I would do my share of work- you do not have to offer the help just because you are free. 

- You can't use any cloth to clean the glass table.A spray and a glass cleaning mop, both are must.

- Can we just switch the AC off or should I show my running nose in public?

- Oh wait, now when the PM made you realized how Plastic kills cows you have suddenly stopped using plastic bags?! When we said it is harmful for environment you never bothered! 

-  Boiling already filtered water wont make it germ-free. But,a good practice. 

-  Putting cleaned dustbin five steps away from the statue of God is sin but putting the same on the platform - fifteen centimeters away from the food being cooked on the kitchen platform is okay.Wow.

- You can not cry on slaughter of dogs in China when you enjoy your chicken every day. 

- My husband has no problem with my maiden surname, you should not get bothered too. You are not even an extended family.

- Wait, would you fast for a month with only milk for me?

-With diabetes you would observe Navratra! Last time you had to break the fast in the hospital.

-What is to be proud of the fact that your religion is the most ancient one in the world? Do I look like a cave man?

-Can we get a break from all the spiritual-religious discussion. I wanna break-free.

-I'm bored of whispers. You can say things loudly when I'm not there.

-I told you once, I do not like this product. Go ahead if you want to, anyway.

Chai Time Chit Chat #2

Last few days have been exhausting. With family members (not the husband) performing religious rituals and fasting, I being the only (after the husband) non-religious person in a way- took the responsibility of helping in domestic chores as much as possible. Talk about being Karma Yogi.

House hold chores are therapeutic in a way but just like anything in extremes is bad- the office work and the household stuff clashing in 24 hours like the war of Kurukshetra exhausted me. Though the feeling of helping my own people (so that they can do what they want to) has a different 'happy feeling. I so wish some relatives can understand the concept of being KarmaYogi as well.

Then came the long weekend and I dare not say it was boring. It had everything a weekend should have in- I ran, spent time with the husband who is now in the flight to his tri-monthly pilgrimage to Scandinavia, went to an outlet - the only outlet in Mumbai which serves cold brewed coffee which I loved with all my heart, I painted ,I slept off, I broke the malfunctioning lock of parents-in-law's room when my Mother-in-law got locked  just when she wanted to leave for a community ritual in the temple. I think it was one of the most satisfactory weekends I have celebrated. Not to forget the fight I had with Mr.ISB-which in itself is a ritual now. *Rolling eyes*

Moreover, I have been on a books' spree, which means I hardly watch anything on Netflix/tv. I have also started painting again (if one okayish and one bad painting counts) which brings peace from within. I also applied Mehendi on four little hands this festive season. After having the cold brewed coffee at The Pantry (Kalaghoda) I tried making the same with normal CCD coffee bean crushed -Quite easy and impressive though I still need to try more of these cold brew versions. Happiness can't be too expensive.

What do you say?!

Wife or the Worshiper

My husband is a man of few words. (While my talkativeness has got the highest rank on conducting absolute measurements) His over enthusiastic responses include a hearty laugh and a nice response includes 'Hmmm',but it hardly demotivates me because at the end of the day my skill as a brilliant speaker gets an audience only in him. (My brother has retired from this service since ages now!) I am Anyway, this mute mode of his highness is generally tolerated by me, in fact being the religious one, I almost worship him as God. (In old ages Meera bai found her special someone in God, in the Kali yug we find God in our special someone while singing 'Tujhme rab dikhta hai!) I believe him to be The God Vishnu,I kid you not. Being an engineer,I had decided to be very specific in worshiping a definite God rather than the supreme power in him and so when I studied observations taken, I could derive the name of the God- hands down Vishnu.

He puts on a mysterious smile like Krishna once in a while - Specially when I shiver with the thought of getting buried under tones of sand inside a well in my dreams while he would be busy sprinkling talcum powder on my face at 2 am (Reason I dreamt of getting sucked by sand). He can segregate rights and wrongs like Ram,though communicating it without framing words (Socially shocking to relatives, in simple language -if he decides to open his mouth) He can get  as furious as Parshuram when angry. He has saved his world (me) from sinking in an ocean (Read: Swimming pool) like Matsya and Varah. He has a habit of going underground (Patal Lok) ditching all the communication devices like Vaman. He flaunts his 'Bong' tooth like a boss, very similar to that of Narsimha. (I made this up, okay?) He is as thick skinned as Kurma when it comes to tolerating intolerable substances of life on his back while calming me down and thus saving his world. Apart from showing signs of him being all the nine Avtars of Vishnu, this Husband of mine can sleep in the same position as God Vishnu for hours together and I doubt if we do not disturb,hours can turn into ages as well. Did I tell you I am trying to find indirectly if he likes horse riding like Kalki. Being Kalki's wife would not a bad thing, isn't it.

I am in search of an ancient book mentioning Kalki's wife. I am not sure about all the duties of the wife of Kalki, though I should be really responsible for the sword he would be using (as shown in pictures) as this husband of mine keeps on misplacing his things every where on this earth.

I don't want to be blamed for his inability to save this earth, just because my husband forgot his sword in the office and I did not remind him to get it back. Tch tch.... 

An Essay on Photos, without photos

I was one enthusiastic (budding) photographer learning to click brilliant photographs and I always thought (After buying a little bit expensive DSLR from my very little salary) I was very close to the goal, circa 2009.Then slowly some wisdom started getting churned out of the 'Manthan' in my complex little brain. This post is made up of the poison which was created as a byproduct of the very same 'Manthan'.

By the time this poison started leaking out of my mind, world had gone crazier with the very same disease called 'Photos for Facebook'. People had started uploading photographs from the very poor quality phone cameras on Facebook. This act was a bearable offence but after the great 2009 recession suddenly money started pouring in, in the accounts of young people. (I wonder how suddenly every one had got amazing salary when Congress was still trying to convince that their 500 INR to each of the voters in the state of Gujarat would make them win the state election, before they got washed out in 2014) Some girls also made albums called 'My New Hairstyle' containing photos of themselves taken from 360 degree angles, no less by their fan following. Slowly people started buying Digital Single Reflex Lens (DSLR) cameras thinking they are automatic photo vending machines where every one would look glamorous and fetch 100 likes on Facebook.

Then came this Candid photography era where people started getting married to put photos on Facebook after spending almost a bomb. Marriage market started booming with cameramen/camerawomen who had more flexible bodies than today's Deepa Karmakar because they had to perform risky stunts while photographing bride and groom before and after wedding. I witnessed a photographer sleeping on the Mandap because he thought the sky with heads of bride and groom looked more convincing than the oath they were 'trying' to take in the name of the ritual. Wedding Photos in bulk upload on FaceBook had almost made some humble human beings puke. In fact, one of my cousin could not click pre-wedding photos, hence decided to create a count down in Public with posts like '42 days to go for the wedding' and maintained the enthusiasm till he reached the Mandap with '0.01 days to go' status.This disease is said to be still prevalent in the society even now,just that I am out of the marriageable age. Without getting infected- Please note.

Subsequently, the age of Instagram started. It was the biggest catastrophe in the art world of 7 billion artists, almost. Though I would say dogs, cow dungs and shoes never felt so important after getting clicked by Instagram users, it was still a tragedy. Before eating, clicking a photo became a ritual than praying. The pouting girls had started developing muscle pains in the cheeks, not that it made them giggle a bit less. Some doctors also became ruthless and started showing pictures of their dental surgeries on social media which indirectly gave more business to pharmacies selling medicines for vomiting. (Doctors first time in the history helped other professions this way)

By the time selfie-stick became a hit, the count of words spoken by females globally reduced by 30% due to the amble of time taken to pout and show chiseled look while taking selfies. I am all in for world peace, believe me but the obsession of taking selfies have created a space constraint on most of the servers on the earth. In fact, Google has been expanding its real estate properties exponentially to cover the demand of space in servers.

I'm (who has locked the camera in the wardrobe now for the good cause) now waiting for the day when beggars of the street of 'The city which never sleeps', would click selfies while sitting in the huts build on servers built on highways, while their clothes getting dried up- hanging on the radiators of very same servers. In fact, you never know servers become the new ecological system for livings thanks to 'Photo' fever taking over human beings.

Must Evolve, the science says.

Run or Ramble #1

So I started running- or to be precise, kicked off interval training. I am far from running even a 5K with some decent timing but I am not giving up. The thought of endorphin kicking in and getting drenched in sweat, itself is a motivation for me. Hopefully, it would be always.

When I get up in the morning and start at around 6.40 am after the warm up - Mumbai is still opening eyes from its not very sound sleep. Roads are generally empty and I can spot fitness freaks or 'forced' fitness freaks doing some kind of a work out - walking, brisk walking or running. The monsoon has some how vanished but the atmosphere is generally pleasant at this time of the morning. So this humble beginner lets the music play on mobile and kick start the Nike App running to measure the hard work.

The most appealing highlight of running is introspection which comes with it. I keep on talking to myself about random stuff- some times  related to fitness and sometimes not. It is similar to loosing yourself in a tunnel where the only direction is to go ahead and suddenly you reach the end- you realize you have been running/fast walking for some time. I am yet to achieve great timing but I have a feeling that this 'Loosing myself in the tunnel world' will make me reach my goal than 'Runner's high'.

Matunga so far is green and so my run to the five gardens is quirky. I see different aged people doing their morning work out with brilliant zest. Aunties in Sarees/Salwars, Uncles in old fashioned half pants, Some enthusiastic in sports wear and some grand mothers (Parsis live long any way!) in frocks! We look at each other with curiosity , some times gain inspiration, some times cheer each other up by silent smiles and sometimes just pass by without registering. My return brisk walk is initially tossed up by the smell of coffee thanks to south Indian cafes serving 'Filter Coffee' near by but then it gets messed up by school bus traffic near home. May be I need to start a bit early.

Post running hours are challenging in a way - first I experience a boost of energy with super hungry stomach roaring. I have been experimenting a bit with post running snacks - Khakhras with peanut butter (Controlling my love for it and also avoiding bread!) and a mug full of Milo. Once I am done with my morning work at home/lunch box packing/cleaning mess - I have a little chunk of freshly cooked breakfast as well. Things appear 'Happy High' for a while but thanks to my not-so-active life style my body then starts feeling tired and a bit sleepy once I reach office. Some of my friends who are avid runners say these signs should subside in a month or I need to increase and properly curate my breakfast - ideally half of it should be carbs and the other half protein. Well,lets wait and watch! Also, I have been advised to do warm up exercise and post run stretches properly,which I am trying to learn as well.

Then there is something called Stamina which I am trying to improve a bit every day. It pisses me off if I do not graduate from the already achieved number. When people ask me 'Why am I trying to run for 4 kms at a stretch' I feel like googling  and show them numbers people achieve. (Marathoners, just pretend you did not read this!) Both sets of mothers have tried to convince me to do this only on Sundays but I'm trying to ignore them royally.

I am ready to shed my failures this time. I really really do not want to give up. I really want to tone up my body and feel the runner's high. In that order.

What do you think? :-D

A dose of calmness

This morning when I noticed little sluggishness induced thanks to lack of real food after the first run I made or the lack of coffee/tea in my blood,I decided to dive into 'creatively' roasted coffee. Bottom ups - in two minutes. Not bad? (Ignore the weak line work- Need to work on it!)

Afterwards I realized that the sluggishness was due to a change in my stateof mind. The morning run/walk/sprint (whatever you call it for the fatty me!) had lifted my spirit and calmed me down at the same time. It was a sense of de- fragmentation;If you know what I mean.

I realized that this was the kind of calmness I was searching for ,which had made me unstable for days together. I was irritated, I was angry.I had reasons which had worsened the situation. I was disheartened. I was vulnerable.

Something in me changed a couple of days back. Today, I achieved this calmness and I very much know - the heavy cardio act would gift me such a feeling every time I need it.

If I forget, how to achieve such a state of mind - I need to come back to this post.

Chaitime Chit Chat # 1

Because nothing can replace chitchat sessions over a couple of cups of my type of tea. Well, may be long walking sessions with my own people but they are very few. I thought of starting this series because I was bored of bullet points and every time I write such posts it makes me feel as if I am writing for online magazines like ScoopWhoop. Nope, not acceptable. Hence, this. Pick a cup of tea or coffee, pull that chair. Lets talk.

So We celebrated Rakhi with all my relatives back in Gujarat and it was Fun to the tee. I got a couple of ethnic Sarees (Handloom) and can not wait to flaunt them this month. How I wish I could be the part of #100Sareespact some day but the lack of opportunities where I can really wear sarees demotivates me. I am slowly learning how to drape the gorgeous piece of cloth in an elegant way. More I learn,more I love sarees and mind you, every piece of heritage looms comes with a story which makes hands-me-down sarees lovelier. So, you give me an option of taking any of your old Sarees,I would go for it rather than buying a new one for me.

I have become 'Masi' last month. My cousin (The only elder sister in the clan I have) has been blessed with a baby girl - The US of A never attracted me more.I so wish to plan for a trip next year to see the jumping kiddo. Her daily updates are being sent on WhatsApp and it is too cute to see my doctor sister taking care of her own child while throwing sarcastic comments like 'We like to play at 2 in the night' with the baby's photo.

My Frock Buddy N is in India and of course, we met, we talked and felt as if we still are neighbors. This feeling of 'Never went away' even after living in two different countries for months is magical.Not to forget Milo, which I love and was gifted to me by her. Every day and night, its going to be Milo now, Sorry, my morning Chai.

My office work is hectic but it does suck me in, in a passionate way. Hence, I do not feel irritated at all. My office timings fly. Touch wood. People at office have been more than helpful,of course they tease the hell out of me. They are brutal while giving feedback but now I am slowly changing. Sulking period after such incidents are now shaping up into something productive inside me. I am accepting feedback with an open heart and if something I do not agree to, well I just throw it out of my system.

Talking about flights, we got real lucky when we could board the plan after entering in the airport at 9.48 pm for our 10.10 pm flight because we had web checked in and also the flight was late. Go Air this time saved us with its virtue of being true Indian- always late.

Enough about things going around me. Things within me are much more painful. Hyper active nature does not let me live peacefully. Right from doing this and that every minute to not tolerating a bit of change in the plan. Flexibility and patience of mind which teaches you to respond to the situation becomes zero in such cases. I am one of the victims who is more like the guilty, making others victim quickly - faster than you imagine. This trait has disappointed me a lot lately and I have zero inclination on working on it, as there is a big vacuum filed within which has made my senses numb enough to register surroundings. Faff, I know. Leave it.

I have been planning to host a dinner, wear sarees a couple of times, paint a card, paints a pot, run a mile and soak myself in some sort of oneness. This August.

How about you?