I was so much positive about my resignation. Of course I knew it will be painful to leave the comfort zone and my office-buddies, seniors who love me just like a daughter! (I am not exaggerating!) But, I was pretty sure about how I will leave the company-My first company & how I will gracefully leave and go for my studies to achieve my dreams.
I will meet every one, every one. Right from the security officers, senior management, office boys to my buddies. I will be happy in my farewell and bid good bye with positive vibes. I will party with my gang-who is no more in my company. I will walk on the wet sand on the beach in the awesome rain with my best buddies. I will craft all memories and place them in my heart happily and leave.
I will do this and that. I will handle my own farewell. Don't think I am mad! :D I have organized quite a few farewell parties of my best of best buddies. I always thought, I will organize my own and set a new trend!Lol. Anyway I always knew there will a very small group who will be interested in attending the same as most of the people love me (of my generation!) has changed the job. I am really confused for the buddy-who had promised he wont move out before I leave the company and he has kept the promise. Frankly, dude please move out. I should have asked you to do so. Sheesh.
Frankly I am not feeling like doing anything I had thought of. I enjoy my mini get-together with my gang members who are scattered in different cities now and come to meet me. Anything else no? I don't want farewell, I don't want to meet any one now. I feel like just walking away silently. Because the pain of leaving this amazing world is killing me to the core. More than that, some friends who actually are hurting me or have hurt me but I never realized, are making me cry everyday. Yes I cry everyday. I can hear the heart break everyday. I am not hurt by a single person but quite a few and I never realized they were masks!
Then I think of buddies who are everything for me. The bunch of people who can do anything for me. Anything. They constantly try to keep me high-which is my normal state. They try to crack silly jokes and worst than me sometimes.One of them wants me to cry hear only so that, I dont cry when I fly down to S'pore, I am over with the senti-part. I don't have words for you guys. I cant express a tiny bit of my heart for you all. Some relations are forever.
I am floating between these two extreme feelings and with this state of mind I am trying to struggle to tune into the new change.
What do you do when your eyes are eager to see a different world, holding back your heart in the hand and suddenly the picture is blurred.
Blurred by the fog,fears or tears?