No, I do not mean to start April with this negative word. I would rather put this post as a result of introspection. Sometimes, in life you reach a junction when you feel blessed and anxious both - for decisions you have taken so far, even when you are seemingly doing just fine. Knowing what makes you anxious, is one step towards resolving the situation. At least, that is what I believe.
I also believe, I am personally not afraid of anything in the world but there are a few things which make me panic like nothing else. At the age of 30, I have figure out what are they. I might succumb to them or float around, I just want to some day come back to this post and happily note the progress. Here we go..
People I love, not feeling well: This includes even friends and family both. I sometimes can not stop thinking about them if they are not well and if I come to know about it. People have stopped informing me if there is some minor thing bothering their health, but that makes me even more depressed. From a person who as a kid, took decisions in the time of crisis with utmost maturity when accidents happened with her maternal and paternal grandparents- this is unexpected. I am trying to fight such anxieties, by focusing on helping them as well as diverting my mind towards other things which matter as well. With age we ought to accept that such fall backs are going to happen.
Social Rituals & Traditions: I like traditions, however ones with baggage are something I escape from. Specially, where society is unfair. Where comparisons happen. Where gifts are exchanged as a part of tradition and not by love. Expectations are set without any logic. I despise them and to some extent now I am tired of trying to change them. It also affects the relationships you want to cherish forever. Sadly, India seems like the last country ever changing on that front.
Not Being Able To Perform Well Professionally: Or feeling helpless about it. Nothing is scarier when it comes to my professional. I have made certain decisions in my life which kept me and people around me happy for quite some time, in every aspect. However, not going out of the comfort zone for various reasons when the time was right, has resulted in a situation where I am constantly afraid of not doing well in my career. If I conquer this, I know in my heart that I would fulfill my dreams one day. Sooner or Later.
Religious Stubbornness: The biggest ever anxiety trigger. Coming from a family, hardly religious, this war with religious stubbornness is more than disturbing for me in the adulthood. Specially when you are asked to follow certain religious tasks subtly but with enough intensity. A person like me, who is scared of hurting people would let it pile up and vent it out on incorrect people. Every single time. But what is the root cause? Religious people who enforce their beliefs just because society performed some sort of blood transfusion to convert you post 25. I also understand it is my own stubbornness of not converting my live-life-as-per-your-rules belief into somebody else's belief, which creates anxiety. However, I do not think I can find a way to feel peace and keep people happy together.
Oh well, now when I have typed enough on 'Anxiety', I know a temporary medicine to relieve myself. Blogging about the trigger. Even if it is short lived.
It just makes me realize that spoiling peace of mind with the anxious cloud hovering around, is not worth it for any of the reasons above.
Can we learn to ignore all of them, Please?
I also believe, I am personally not afraid of anything in the world but there are a few things which make me panic like nothing else. At the age of 30, I have figure out what are they. I might succumb to them or float around, I just want to some day come back to this post and happily note the progress. Here we go..
People I love, not feeling well: This includes even friends and family both. I sometimes can not stop thinking about them if they are not well and if I come to know about it. People have stopped informing me if there is some minor thing bothering their health, but that makes me even more depressed. From a person who as a kid, took decisions in the time of crisis with utmost maturity when accidents happened with her maternal and paternal grandparents- this is unexpected. I am trying to fight such anxieties, by focusing on helping them as well as diverting my mind towards other things which matter as well. With age we ought to accept that such fall backs are going to happen.
Social Rituals & Traditions: I like traditions, however ones with baggage are something I escape from. Specially, where society is unfair. Where comparisons happen. Where gifts are exchanged as a part of tradition and not by love. Expectations are set without any logic. I despise them and to some extent now I am tired of trying to change them. It also affects the relationships you want to cherish forever. Sadly, India seems like the last country ever changing on that front.
Not Being Able To Perform Well Professionally: Or feeling helpless about it. Nothing is scarier when it comes to my professional. I have made certain decisions in my life which kept me and people around me happy for quite some time, in every aspect. However, not going out of the comfort zone for various reasons when the time was right, has resulted in a situation where I am constantly afraid of not doing well in my career. If I conquer this, I know in my heart that I would fulfill my dreams one day. Sooner or Later.
Religious Stubbornness: The biggest ever anxiety trigger. Coming from a family, hardly religious, this war with religious stubbornness is more than disturbing for me in the adulthood. Specially when you are asked to follow certain religious tasks subtly but with enough intensity. A person like me, who is scared of hurting people would let it pile up and vent it out on incorrect people. Every single time. But what is the root cause? Religious people who enforce their beliefs just because society performed some sort of blood transfusion to convert you post 25. I also understand it is my own stubbornness of not converting my live-life-as-per-your-rules belief into somebody else's belief, which creates anxiety. However, I do not think I can find a way to feel peace and keep people happy together.
Oh well, now when I have typed enough on 'Anxiety', I know a temporary medicine to relieve myself. Blogging about the trigger. Even if it is short lived.
It just makes me realize that spoiling peace of mind with the anxious cloud hovering around, is not worth it for any of the reasons above.
Can we learn to ignore all of them, Please?
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