I for I

No, I was not running out of ideas to write on this letter 'I'. However, lately this 30 years old little stupid lady has realized the value of 'I'.

What 'I' want in life,  How 'I' want to take my work forward? How 'I' want to manage my life. Believe me, when you go through a mountain of changes in physiological , psychological and cultural shifts within and around,... and you forget what about the very special 'I'- you are bound to go through hell. I went through a type of metamorphosis too and I believe, it is still going on.

I have realized, to keep my sanity in check- first I need to know what I want. Then I have to decide if my conscious is right. I have to train myself to stand up to what I believe in- what I want and fight for it using various tactics. Sometimes, it is okay to let go but too much of it would end up creating pressure on you to be a good person. The problem is not in being a good person, the problem is that, 'Good' and 'Bad' are perspectives.

I wanted to take this chance, to clearly write down basics.

I want a life where I can follow my faith and beliefs. While I do not want to upset any elderly person in my life- I also do not want to waste twenty years of my life, following someone else's faith.

I want to fly high in my career for various reasons, however I can see some bottlenecks for a few years. Do I want to succumb to them? No.

I want to really spend two vacations in a year with Mr.ISB.  Under current scene, work and home fronts - both are challenging. It is not going to be easy too. Lets see!

I do not want to argue with any one, unless I see that there is even a tiny bit of chance in the other side to change. I am so done with it. However, I would stick to my guns with stronger words and plans when I am in a better position to go through the drill.

I do not want to work to entertain myself. Not that I did ever, however my ambition are clearer and higher than ever. God Bless others!

I want to develop my sense of style, which is simple. I do not want to EVER succumb to the pressure of how others perceive what 'Style' is. I wish I can always tell this to myself.

I am going to stay away from problems of people who are eternally confused and change their decisions every now and then. While it does not mean that I am going to stop being social or helpful, I do not want to go deep. I have burnt my fingers already.

I want to take care of my health.

I want to take care of Mr.ISB's health. (Somebody is rolling his eyes!)

I want to spend good time with my parent and witness my brother's career taking shape.

I want to, for once, live life ignoring everything else which is not what 'I' want. Without being stressed about what 'Other' are thinking about me.