April 10, 2012

I dont accept this yet!

Dear Fua,

I know you wont be reading this, You might not be able to know what I actually feel, so I decided to write a letter on my Blog.

I lost my grandfather aka Dadaji when I was five, somehow I never missed him as you were there. I am still not sure if you are like my father or my grandfather but be assured, you are that special someone whom I respect so so much, more than any one else in this world.

It was you who taught me to see things with  different point of views, from different angles.It was you who taught me that a doctor is an engineer only. I remember you had told me, "Your papa deals with machines and I with your other fais-fuas deal with human bodies, we all are engineers otherwise." The very sentence built my vision and goal to become an engineer. You had told me,'Dont go where others are going, go where you have already been in your dreams', so I could let go my admission in the medical college & get into this dream world of machines and cars.

It was you who inspired me to develop hobbies in areas where generally girls wont dwell into. I have always seen you taking so much interest in applied physics,mathematics to automobiles and the best, robotics even though you are one of the best plastic surgeon of your era in the city. In fact I have discussed Robotics and cars more with you than my father and brother. The best thing I have learnt from you, "Be as curious as a child,all your life." As a kid or even now, I never felt you are a famous doctor, I always felt you are my fua, who doesn't know anything in the new physics and engineering world, so I need to know more and tell you more! I think, that way I started building my personality.Ah, not to forget, you showed me so many wonderful kits/tables/trolleys you made yourself, sufficient to inspire me to choose my career.

It was you who also taught me how to prove how to perform at par with guys wherever I go.You also supported us-cousins so well be it our science fair, cultural festival, music classes or Bharatnatyam and Garba shows.You were always there to bless us.

It was you who actually told my mother to have faith in my grandfather's diagnosis about her premature baby, that's me. 'Bubblegum is going to be brilliant!', and my mother still says you gave her faith and here I am. Papa says, whenever anything happened to me-my health, it was you who decided and it always worked. Even in my boards and engineering years, when I was suffering from migraine, you made me stronger and taught me certain things which are helpful even today.I think, more of a doctor it was your love for me, always.You are a plastic surgeon and still cured my migraine!

Last time in January, I spent some time with you,Enjoying cousin's wedding. After all you were bride's grandfather! That was the time when I saw you walking with the help of a stick for the first time. I saw wrinkles on your face, at the age of 85, for the first time.I saw you were tired even after 5 minutes of talking.I had to make you wear your shoes and I could see your shivering legs.I am used to see you healthy with kicking enthusiasm. I still smile when I picture you, you are still smiling at me with all love and care, not to forget child like innocence and that fatherly/ grandfatherly warmth.

You suffered a cardiac arrest some days before. You were admitted in a hospital, in an ICU. Doctors (ah, they all are either my fai-fuas or their friends) told us, after great efforts you are stable. You were discharged yesterday.I got to know you are not able to recognize any one. You talk irrelevant and try to figure out something in air.I seriously feel if you are just playing a prank. You cant be so. Not possible.

I am not ready to accept this yet. Come on, fua ,get up and show the world that you are still the same, source of love,admiration,care, inspiration. Above all you are my 'Fua'and 'Pa' of all my cousins, 'Bhai' or a father figure for my parents.

Don't tell me now, that you don't remember me.You gotta dance in my wedding after a few years, remember?

Chatterbox, here people know me as Bubblegum.


  1. Respect to your feelings... Your intense emotions will set everything alright..!!

    1. :) Whatever happens , happens for good. He also says the same!