March 14, 2012

My point on commitment

There are two seasons in a year.One is, when you can hear all about marriages, commitments and engagements. Okay, I wrote in a different order all together. You feel everyone around you is busy in loosing his/her bachelorhood. Then there is another season, when you get to hear about breakups and heart breaks. Some due to situations, some due to mismatching of those poor candidates or 'just like that' breakups.Ah, like "Adhik maas" or an extra month in Hindu calendar, there is one more season, in which each week is balanced by news of engagement or commitment with news of breakups too. (Not the same case han!!!) So, right now the third season, an extra season is going on.

I seriously feel  bad for the people who actually have to go through breakups and heart breaks just because they couldn't choose the suitable partner or the just got confused about her/him.Though its never late. I feel these people should be brave enough to accept and let the partner go and move on with life. Things happening around me, made me think about what type of commitment I believe in.

Commitment shouldn't be a curse. That's the basic rule.When you choose a partner, you should choose as he is or as she is. No expectations should be there to change him or her. The biggest mistakes made in commitment is changing the originality-individuality of yourself. That's a cheating with yourself. Neither One should loose the individuality nor one should pressurize other to do the same. If one is suppressed to accept the sudden 'wanted' change, the commitment will suffocate him/her. The commitment will become a curse. That's the violation of the basic rule.

Individuality now doesn't mean-Being stubborn about self. One has to change-but the change should be natural, should come from within, it should come with happiness of the person. It wont affect one's individuality. It is called growing matured with the person you are. It will only increase feelings and comfort. There you are on the right path then.

Be the buddy: Now this is 'my point, on commitment. Purely mine and it is fine if one doesn't agree. I feel, life partners should be buddies first. The comfort level plays an important role in the commitment. The level of comfort determines the level of happiness. If you are comfortable, you feel more for the person. Fun is the most important part of commitment, life should be full of fun.Fun doesn't always mean party time, every time. Fun is the feeling of enjoyment. Enjoy the life and fun is there. Fun is where your buddies are! Buddies can be friends, family and of course main, one's life partner.

Opposite doesn't attract every time. I seriously don't believe in such a stupid rule. Life partners can not be opposite totally. There will be a link between them something like their thinking, their behavior, their hobbies. There should be something common. In fact the rule of Synchronicity, plays in commitment."When you are committed truly,you try to find your own self in your life partner, so will he/she do.You become similar slowly."In fact I have read in a book by Osho,the rule can also make a husband-wife duo look similar after some years of the marriage.The rule needs a payload but to kick off.

 Once you feel, the kismat connection is there,the rule plays a role. The similarity in both partners actually triggers the rule,ignites the rule. If 2 persons are completely opposite, by nature or by culture, the rule fails. It is the end. So, I feel in commitment spending time together, knowing each other, knowing the common zone is more than important. Life becomes easy-fun as you have got a list of happening things, you can enjoy together. So you feel you both are buddies, more fun, more comfort and the stronger commitment.

I know these things can be ideal. There are micro level things which should be taken care of. What matters the most is,the definition,

"A commitment should be the way to look forward to enjoy the game of life together without loosing individuality!"


  1. Well Written..PhD in awesome option......whatsay??


    1. It seems I can take some tips to prepare dissertation.. What say Shane? Be a mentor?? :D