February 10, 2012

The anger

Disclaimer: A rant, officially!

I am a short tempered person. The anger sits on my nose as most of my friends tell me. (Ah,its 'gussa nak pe rehena') I get poked very easily and I react faster on comments. Sometimes I don't react, feel null,don't show it, but then it doesn't mean I don't feel anything or I am a fool.

My own people very well know from my expressions, talks and chats if I am angry. I used to love to show it to the world. But,now I don't. I feel I have become matured, but it is pain to be one., I don't react.

People may think, I am not realizing what they are doing to me/what they have already done. They might think I am a fool. They might think I am a bechari ladaki who keeps her mouth shut. They might think I am a sehene wali krantikari. Sorry guys and gals I am not, it is just that I don't feel like reacting as I am sick of showing my anger and my irritation or I am giving you one more chance to not to do 'that' again. Worst, I have chosen myself and kick you out of my life.

For all who thinks I am a fool, let me tell you I very well know what are you doing. You can not do anything under my nose. I am blessed that way, I have a powerful sixth sense or I am just smart enough. I know/knew very well if you bluff,you hide things from me,plan to ditch me or plan to just snatch my own things.I let you do as I love/loved you as my own buddy,so I dint/don't react.

For all who thinks I am a bechari sehenkarnewali ladaki. Better not to challenge.My patience is your saviour. The day I will feel not-attached to you, I will react and you will never forget that.

For all those whom I have kicked out of my life, better you remember what you had done to me. You had decided to hurt me or ditch me. You did that, I kicked you out. My simple concept, if a part of my body gives me pain,I cut it off. I just shift delete them. Yeah I would definitely love to show my anger to you as I remember each and every cases precisely dear guys and gals, I don't forgive and forget!

I have kept mum, and silently left you or silently watching the show, that doesn't mean I wont react in future. The anger in me is growing day by day, and for the first time in my life I am not longing for calmness.As I am going to use this gift from you in a creative way!

Till then, keep on fooling me, hurting me,remember me with guilt,
.. It wont matter..

As I don't give a damn about you!